A Clarification for Pride's Sake

I now have undeniable proof that my mother is dead.  Not that I really questioned it.  But like Elvis, Jack the Ripper,  Michael Jackson and every person who ever starred on a soap opera, no one is really dead until they are DEAD.

That being said I now know she is gone.  Yesterday I tried out posting to this blog with my spiffy mobile app.  I LOVE MY iPHONE!!  I do!  I do!  It was very cool to ignore Tessi and Teddy at the playground and type away my angst.  Trust me, it helped everyone in that moment.

However today I noticed that the post title was Ifh;ae*^%#*m Bored.  I can assure you that while I am no Rhodes Scholar, I would hold my public elementary and secondary as well as degrees in Communications and Criminal Justice from American University up to the standard of being able to spell the word "I'm"  In fact I don't think I'm being too boastful when I say that my confidence allows me to say that "I am" is also in my spelling repertoire.

It is this little spelling "whoops" that assures me of my mother's demise.  No way in HELL she would have let me go 24 hours without knowing I had brought shame to the house of my father by announcing to the known universe that I was in fact, an illiterate ignoramus.  Incorrect spelling?  Are we not civilized?  Why not walk around trouser-less singing "Deutchland Uber Alis" during African swallow swooping season.  It's a world gone mad. 

No, no, if she were alive somewhere in the world she would have found me.  Found me if she had to crawl out of the desert on her hands and knees to point out my grammar gaffe and find out when I had decided dangling participles were now socially acceptable.  She could tolerate many things but not poor grammar.

I mention this with all frivolity because in the end, I did fell like an illiterate ignoramus bringing shame to the house of my father with my typo goof.  Damnit, I was just HORRIFIED to see the title and wondered how in the name that happened.  I'm sure it's just a programming error written into the Blogger app.  Something that tells the program that when it sees ' to instead type oYUT^$*($(%$.  Only to a programmer that would make sense.

Yes, Ted I'm talking about you and your ilk.

No matter.  What's done is done.  There's no going back.  Or is there...the edit button can be your friend.  The world's best "do over" item.

Mom, if you are watching from somewhere...I typed it correctly,  it was someone else's fault.

And I love you.  I wish you had corrected for me.