Time for the Talk

No, no.  Not the sex talk.  I'll never be old enough for that talk.  I prefer my children learn about that in embarrassing school classes and secret discussions with their buddies....like decent people.  I'm referring to the talk with the girls about not doing things because a boy told them to do it.

I had great hopes that we were moving beyond this as a society.  A man says it so it must be true.  Utter crap.  Sadly though, with the plummeting status of woman's rights in the US coupled with the most bizarre women's costumes in video games, seriously, doesn't the law of gravity have any standing in games and comic books?  Has anyone seen the "new and improved" Wonder Woman's outfit?  Yea....MAJOR changes there. It's become apparent that I have to start at the beginning with my girls.

Right now I'm most concerned about my youngest.  Tessi from about age 18 months until age 5 was one of the toughest broads you would ever be scared to meet.  And I say that with love.  She wasn't scared of damn thing and if you crossed her, well if I can be blunt for a few minutes....Tessi could put the the fear of God into an Atheist.  Seriously, this little chick used to follow me room to room just so she could kick me.  She is the one who started the fistfight with Connor (knock down, roll around on the ground, hair-pulling donnybrook) over who got to name their baby doll Baby Zoe, after my friend's daughter.  Teddy's friends learned early that even though the package was pretty she would snap you like a twig and spit in your grave if you annoyed her.  Really, she was tough.

Now however there is a new Tessi.  She cries over.every.damn.thing.in.the.world.  Sobs over dead fish. Wails over injustices and keens like a banshee if she feels slighted in the least possible way.  Tell her that her shoe is untied and then spend 20 minutes getting her to stop hiccuping and sobbing.  It's seriously aggravating.  I've been hoping it's just a phase, one of those annoying quirky things that you go through to test out your feelings and identity.  Connor was a whiner too ...still is but it's not so bad.  So the past year I've been hanging on by my fingertips waiting for her to realize what crap it is and go back to the fun of being an uber bitch.

That's not happening.  To my horror it's getting worse.  The final straw for me is now what Tessi wears for her sports uniform.  Tessi has always preferred dresses.  Honestly, I don't care.  Really I don't.  You want to flash your knickers at everyone as you tumble around, hey I don't judge.  Mainly because I don't have to see it and as I've mentioned, I really don't give a damn.  Tessi has ALWAYS had the most insane fun with wiggling her bottom at you.  I figure no one has called the cops yet so I've put it low on the list of crap I have to deal with immediately.  So Tessi started off in the skirt  in Kindy and then at the end of the year she decided that she wanted shorts.  The knickers thing really does get old.  That's cool.  Connor's been wearing shorts for almost 2 years...I'll buy shorts.  What the Hell, it'd been 20 minutes since I'd last forked out money on a kid.  No problem.  Tessi starts her shorts and then she's happy as a clam.

Fast forward from December to the beginning of March.  I noticed on Friday's that Tessi was wearing her skirt again.  Well, it took me a while to notice.  Just a bit.  See, I'm not always on top of my laundry so most Friday's start with a yell, "Mommy!!!!  I don't have any uniforms!"  To which I usually gleefully race to do laundry or sometimes, just sometimes, say, "Oh Jesus Christ, check your laundry basket or dig deep in the back of your closet!"  Or something like that.  Anyway, Missy is back to wearing skirts and today I noticed that her shorts were in fact clean and in her closet.  Why Tessi, why aren't you wearing them?

"Well, um...you know Muskan?", she tearfully mumbles.  Muskan?  The pretty little girl from your Kindy class last year?  Yes, I know her.  This puzzles me.  Muskan always has a bright smile on her face and is famous for her sweetness, really it would be sickening if it wasn't so damn genuine.  "Um well, her little brother, um he said when I was wearing my shorts I was wearing BOY CLOTHES and girls can't wear BOY CLOTHES"

Okay.  So the little brother of a girl who isn't even in your class anymore tells you that shorts are boy clothes so now you won't wear them.

REALLY?  REALLY?  And you bought that crap??!!!  

Oh Hell no.

I can not believe that I am going to have to sit Miss Thang - the former terror of the street down and and explain that we do not let other people tell us what we can wear....especially boys.  I have put up with this mamby pamby, wussy, oh whatever you want dear crap long enough.  She has the stones to fight with her sister who is a foot taller than her but not a kid a year younger and 6 inches shorter?  Like Hell.  I feel like the the designer from the Incredibles shouting at Elastic Girl, "What is this?  Fight, Win!  Confront the problem!"

Wear the skirt because you want to.  Not because some boy says you should.  If I hear one more line in a book, on TV, in a conversation with a friend or overheard on the playground  about "cause a boy said" I am going to do something extremely unpleasant.  I thought the days of marches and bra burnings were over but it seems like it might be time to bring them back full steam.  Me being a strong woman does not mean that I want to make men weaker.  My husband is a very strong man and he strength is not dependent upon my weakness.  And I love him for that.  This is the message I want to convey to my girls...my son too.

So when Tessi gets home we're going to chat.  It's time for the ball-busting, I'll make YOU cry Tessi to come back.  At least at school.  Nothing would make me happier than to get a call from the school saying, "Ummm Cecelia, could you come in for Tessi...she's hung up Samreet with her sports skirt...again"

"Why, yes, I'll be happy to bring her shorts"