Desperate Plead for Help with Translations

I don't mean to sound dramatic but I could desperately use some help right now with translating words and phrases into English.  Please look at the following pictures.  They are pictures of a chart I put up to explain what needs to be done in the morning before school.  We always put visual aids to explain things to be done.  Both Connor and Tessi have always done better when they see pictures.  It's one of the many things therapists teach parents when you first learn your child is Autistic.  I've always been amazed at how much better they work than using speech with the girls.  Actually not just the girls, all kids.

Anyway, here is the chart.

 I went ahead and took some close up shots of the pictures and instructions for you.

 Does this seem easy to read?  Lower age vocabulary?  Easy to understand?

Are the images clear?  Any ambiguity on the meaning?

Good.  What I need help with is understanding the double meanings that some of these phrases or even pictures have.    See my kids are having problems following this chart.  Can anyone point out the phrases that actually mean, "chase the cat up and down the steps?"  Does "eat breakfast" translate to"needle your sister until her head explodes" or is it the picture of the sandwich that shouts, "forget to put on socks!"

Now, I 'm quite serious.  I have taken several linguistics classes in college, even one in high school so I am fully educated in the principle of hidden meanings and double entrendres.  I know EXACTLY what it means when a female says, "Fine, go ahead and do it" and trust me it is never that.  Imagine my confusion then when I can not find the extras in this chart.  I really must be as stupid as my children have been accusing me of being.  So be honest, it's the picture of the backpack that is a hidden cult message that screams, "Don't remember that you wear the same frickin' shoes every day and for Chrissake, don't remember where they are"  No?  Too obvious.  Man, they are clever little SOB's.  It's the "do hair" phrase isn't it?

Ok, I've got that now.  Where is the code hidden for, "be unable to.do.a.single.god.damn.thing. without your mother repeating it 12 times?"  Now that one I'm going to have to fall on my hands and knees and beg you people to find for me.  Unfortunately, that one is causing my eye twitch to return. As well as a colossal headache.  Apparently it's also in there that they should not remember how to find a spoon in the drawer for the cereal or where we keep the milk.  No I'm not kidding.  Where we keep the milk.  One more time.  WHERE THE DAMN MILK IS KEPT.  I was asked that today.  Twice.

Please let me know what you can find out for me.  I'm afraid I didn't bring my A game to parenting this morning and Mommy had a little meltdown.  I have informed all 3 that tomorrow I will come downstairs, set out breakfast items and items for lunch.  I will do hair if asked and I will listen to readers if requested. That is the only part of the normal morning routine I will participate in.  I WILL get a single freaking cup of tea drunk in UNDER 20 minutes if it kills me.  At 8:20 I will announced that I am leaving to drive them to school.  Anyone still in their jammies or knickers and unfed will have an UNPLEASANT day at school as they will STILL BE IN THEIR GOD DAMN JAMMIES OR KNICKERS AT SCHOOL.

I'm going back to bed now as I'm sure you can imagine, my head hurts.  If I'm not at school pick up whatever you do, DO NOT CALL ME.