Since so many people responded to my plea for help about the young boy on Tessi's basketball team I felt I should post a bit of an update.
I did send an email to my friends whose girls on the team. Both reacted not only kinder than I anticipated but exactly in kind with the Aussie "fair go" feeling that I have come to love. Both moms responded that I shouldn't approach the little boys mum, she should enjoy her happiness as long as possible. Were there ways they could help? Since it was obvious this was a case of a child needing some extra help, rather than extra parenting, both ladies jumped on board full force asking how best to help out.
They humble me.
We had our first practice session this morning and it was great. Instead of this glaring "US" vs "THEM" feeling it was about what it should be - teaching all the kids to do as well as they could on the team. We decided to teach the kids to stick their hands out in a "low 5" position when he come by trying to bang into them. This way he gets his sensory fix (the need for contact to get his bearings) and the other kids are a part of helping with that without getting body checked into the ground. To help with
To help with the frustration caused by changing baskets we are going to have 1 parent stand at the end underneath the basket holding a red card. If the child gets the ball and starts charging down the court and no red card, they are to turn around and head for the other basket. That's really for all the kids, not our AS kid.
We talked about rules about subbing on the court. Every child has to come out at least 2 times to let a team mate play and if they whine, cry or ignore the coach they are off for 2 rotations.
We are going to practice in the uniforms so all the kids can see their team mates and learn to recognize them and then not steal the ball from their own team.
At the end of today's practice the mom of the little boy gushed with all the effort put into making this work for the kids.
It's the best I've felt in a long time about working with kids with extra needs.
This feeling isn't permanent, there will be many tales of woe with this team. There's nothing easy about any aspect of life on the Spectrum. However, it least there is hope. Some days the worst part about living on the Spectrum is that there is no hope. Well, not today. Not with the 6 and 7 year old Screen Shots.
I'm so proud to be a part of this group. Thank you.
An American family living in Australia. While we all speak English here, I wouldn't say we all speak the same language.
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Insanity Isn't Hereditary
What happens is the child does something crazy, which drives the parent crazy. Then the parent does something crazy which drives the child crazy. See? It's not hereditary, it's a freakin' infinite loop. I came to this realization at 5:50 am today. I being sound asleep, was not expecting there to be a tall, dark shadowy figure standing a foot away from my face. Well in my defense, she was tall because I was laying down and quite honestly, she was pretty menacing. Did I mention also that I was sound asleep?
A voice suddenly popped, "Mommy, you LIED to me" Ok...I lied. Sure. Who the Hell are you? She steps closer and I can see it's Connor. A pissed off Connor. "You lied to ME!"
Suddenly it returns to me. Ted and I promised Connor that Ted would put Monty the cat to sleep in her room when he went to bed. Now apparently when Ted went to bed he couldn't find the damn cat so he just came to bed. I mumbled something about not seeing Monty and then low and behold the little bastard appeared and Connor took him to her room for the remaining 30 minutes until she decided we were getting up.
Now the crazy part in this scenario, in case you missed it, is how did I end up being the liar when Ted is the one who didn't put the damn cat in the kid's damn room? It's the same kid logic that convinced Tessi to argue with her father that he didn't know how to make porridge, walk past him out of the kitchen out to me in the living room to ask how to do it. This is also the same mentality that let's Teddy think he can fool me when he says he just walked the dog when it's raining and both he and Damn Dog are dry.
The logic is that they are insane. I'm not making a judgement, just a statement. They are barking mad. Off their nut. Loonier than a tune. Any euphemism you want. It's the only reasonable explanation for their ability to remember you calling a classmate's mom a bit of a tart 3 years ago and mentioning that fact in front of her and still being unable to remember you saying find your school hat 30 minutes before you leave for school. Or telling Grandma that Mommy's iPhone has an app that says the F word but won't say a single bloody word about the award they earned at school that week.
Wait, I can hear it from here, the first fight has started. Hmmm, may hide in here a bit more.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
A Wii Game Not for the Masses
I just read an article about a Wii game called, "House of the Dead -Overkill" Mainly I skip info about games like this because there isn't a chance in Hell it'll be played on my Wii anyway. But this was on the Sydney Morning Herald and I thought I'd just glance at it. Apparently a parent bought the game, with it's MA+ warning and was shocked that it was really profane and inappropriate for his teenager who normally is ok with this stuff. So I guess it should have come with an extra label, "No, this one is REALLY MA+, we're serious!"
I understand being caught unaware if you're not into gaming and you didn't expect to see blood and gore on a Strawberry Shortcake game but come on. Give me a break. This game comes with a damn corpse on the cover. What did this guy think the game was going to be, Monopoly? Use your head. Don't pull the, "But the rating system didn't warn me, I've played other games with that warning and it was ok" It's a generic label meant to loosely inform, it can not, tell you what you need to know in order to make a correct decision for your family. It's people like you, the whiners about labels that force us ALL to have to go the extra mile to get things. We get labels, warnings, games behind special counters that you have to have permission to buy. If YOU had looked into it first and YOU knew what you were buying then the rest of us wouldn't have to go through so much hassle.
Parents, we are NOT on the same side as our children. You do NOT need to be their friend. They have enough friends and so do you. I consider it a badge of HONOR that my son is pissed at me right now because I will not let him take his "Rise of Nations game online"; he can only play it on the computer and not hook up with his friends until I can determine how safe the online community is for him. In fact he and his mates are all walking around, muttering about "Ted's damn mother" - I smile with pride.
Do some research. There is a miracle invention called the Internet. Really, it's kind of spiffy. Google the name of the game BEFORE you buy it and see what reviews are of it. For Christ's sake, you can look at screen shots of the games online and SEE if your precious angel can see images of bodies climbing in and out of tombs before you buy the game and then return it in a huff.
I understand being caught unaware if you're not into gaming and you didn't expect to see blood and gore on a Strawberry Shortcake game but come on. Give me a break. This game comes with a damn corpse on the cover. What did this guy think the game was going to be, Monopoly? Use your head. Don't pull the, "But the rating system didn't warn me, I've played other games with that warning and it was ok" It's a generic label meant to loosely inform, it can not, tell you what you need to know in order to make a correct decision for your family. It's people like you, the whiners about labels that force us ALL to have to go the extra mile to get things. We get labels, warnings, games behind special counters that you have to have permission to buy. If YOU had looked into it first and YOU knew what you were buying then the rest of us wouldn't have to go through so much hassle.
Parents, we are NOT on the same side as our children. You do NOT need to be their friend. They have enough friends and so do you. I consider it a badge of HONOR that my son is pissed at me right now because I will not let him take his "Rise of Nations game online"; he can only play it on the computer and not hook up with his friends until I can determine how safe the online community is for him. In fact he and his mates are all walking around, muttering about "Ted's damn mother" - I smile with pride.
Do some research. There is a miracle invention called the Internet. Really, it's kind of spiffy. Google the name of the game BEFORE you buy it and see what reviews are of it. For Christ's sake, you can look at screen shots of the games online and SEE if your precious angel can see images of bodies climbing in and out of tombs before you buy the game and then return it in a huff.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Manic Mondays
Here we are....the second week of school holidays. So far no one has called the cops on me...at least as far as I know, there may be a backlog. So I'm calling it good. Just took Tessi to school and Teddy and Connor are fighting over...as God as my witness, I have no idea. I just here yelling and I'm tuning it out. I'm going to wait until actually bleeding starts before I do anything. I'm not even 1/2 through my 2nd cup of tea for God's sake....no jury would convict.
Today we are meeting with Connor's pediatrician. In OZ you only see the pediatrician for serious things...everything else is done by a gp. Today I want to talk to the dr about Connor and her anxiety issues. I'm trying to get her looked at by Children's Westmeade Development Center, as suggested by her Kindy teacher. I would swear on my limited knowledge of Autism that Connor has Asperger's. This should be impossible since she started with a profound speech delay. But everything about her screams Asperger's. Inappropriate emotions, savant-like memory of the obscure and inane and zero memory of what the rest of us perceive as important.
I'm hoping to find some more insight into this insane affliction. 4 years of living in the Spectrum really hasn't taught me all I need to know. In fact, not even close. One of my favorite pearls of wisdom about all of this, "Something may be a definate sign of Autism; unless it isn't" I love that one. Meaning that lining up toys all in a row can be a massive red flag for Autism; unless of course your child just likes to line things up...then it isn't a sign. No wonder so many of us parents go barking mad.
So we'll see what Dr. Cohen says today. If anything. He may just tell me to unclench and relax. Oh so helpful. Another pearl of wisdom people have for parents of Autistics. Please do me one favor, those of you who do NOT have a loved one on the Spectrum. If only just today, if you meet someone who's child is Autistic, do NOT tell them to relax, that everything will be alright. As helpful as you think you are being; you really are being the opposite. We don't get to relax. We have to on guard all the time, watchful for new signs and symptoms to start therapy for and have to constantly explain our child's odd behavior and try to plan for the future. You see, for your children at ages 5 and 4, they still have boundless options. Mine do not. Mine already have limits and the more I do now...at a young age...the more of a chance they have in the future to exceed those limits.
Well, that turned out to be more of a rant than I was planning. Must be the cold medicine and the fighting over...sigh...still don't know what that was all about. If I'm honest though, I really don't want to know.
Today we are meeting with Connor's pediatrician. In OZ you only see the pediatrician for serious things...everything else is done by a gp. Today I want to talk to the dr about Connor and her anxiety issues. I'm trying to get her looked at by Children's Westmeade Development Center, as suggested by her Kindy teacher. I would swear on my limited knowledge of Autism that Connor has Asperger's. This should be impossible since she started with a profound speech delay. But everything about her screams Asperger's. Inappropriate emotions, savant-like memory of the obscure and inane and zero memory of what the rest of us perceive as important.
I'm hoping to find some more insight into this insane affliction. 4 years of living in the Spectrum really hasn't taught me all I need to know. In fact, not even close. One of my favorite pearls of wisdom about all of this, "Something may be a definate sign of Autism; unless it isn't" I love that one. Meaning that lining up toys all in a row can be a massive red flag for Autism; unless of course your child just likes to line things up...then it isn't a sign. No wonder so many of us parents go barking mad.
So we'll see what Dr. Cohen says today. If anything. He may just tell me to unclench and relax. Oh so helpful. Another pearl of wisdom people have for parents of Autistics. Please do me one favor, those of you who do NOT have a loved one on the Spectrum. If only just today, if you meet someone who's child is Autistic, do NOT tell them to relax, that everything will be alright. As helpful as you think you are being; you really are being the opposite. We don't get to relax. We have to on guard all the time, watchful for new signs and symptoms to start therapy for and have to constantly explain our child's odd behavior and try to plan for the future. You see, for your children at ages 5 and 4, they still have boundless options. Mine do not. Mine already have limits and the more I do now...at a young age...the more of a chance they have in the future to exceed those limits.
Well, that turned out to be more of a rant than I was planning. Must be the cold medicine and the fighting over...sigh...still don't know what that was all about. If I'm honest though, I really don't want to know.
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