Insanity Isn't Hereditary

What happens is the child does something crazy, which drives the parent crazy.  Then the parent does something crazy which drives the child crazy.  See?  It's not hereditary, it's a freakin' infinite loop.  I came to this realization at 5:50 am today.  I being sound asleep, was not expecting there to be a tall, dark shadowy figure standing a foot away from my face. Well in my defense, she was tall because I was laying down and quite honestly, she was pretty menacing.  Did I mention also that I was sound asleep?

A voice suddenly popped, "Mommy, you LIED to me"  Ok...I lied.  Sure.  Who the Hell are you?  She steps closer and I can see it's Connor.  A pissed off Connor.  "You lied to ME!"  

Suddenly it returns to me.  Ted and I promised Connor that Ted would put Monty the cat to sleep in her room when he went to bed.  Now apparently when Ted went to bed he couldn't find the damn cat so he just came to bed.  I mumbled something about not seeing Monty and then low and behold the little bastard appeared and Connor took him to her room for the remaining 30 minutes until she decided we were getting up.

Now the crazy part in this scenario, in case you missed it, is how did I end up being the liar when Ted is the one who didn't put the damn cat in the kid's damn room?  It's the same kid logic that convinced Tessi to argue with her father that he didn't know how to make porridge, walk past him out of the kitchen out to me in the living room to ask how to do it.  This is also the same mentality that let's Teddy think he can fool me when he says he just walked the dog when it's raining and both he and Damn Dog are dry.

The logic is that they are insane.  I'm not making a judgement, just a statement.  They are barking mad.  Off their nut.  Loonier than a tune.  Any euphemism you want.  It's the only reasonable explanation for their ability to remember you calling a classmate's mom a bit of a tart 3 years ago and mentioning that fact in front of her and still being unable to remember you saying find your school hat 30 minutes before you leave for school.  Or telling Grandma that Mommy's iPhone has an app that says the F word but won't say a single bloody word about the award they earned at school that week.

You can see it now, can't you?  That's just not normal.  And the dealing with that insanity, that incredible lunacy well....there really is no choice.  A loop of bat crap craziness is begun.  I can see all of this clearly now as I'm blundering my way through the morning.  I'm hiding in the computer room typing my missive and drinking my tea.  Once I get through the tea I should be able handle the inmates a bit better.  

Wait, I can hear it from here, the first fight has started.  Hmmm, may hide in here a bit more.