Another Morning of Insanity or as I Call it, Friday.

Some times I wake up in the morning and think this is good.  I'm in a warm safe bed and I'm happy.  I know that maybe everything isn't alright but that's ok, we're all healthy and Life is pretty good.

Then I get jarred rudely awake from that fantasy dream and have to face what my morning actually is like.  3 kids, 1 dog and cat.  All in my face.  Fortunately I married well and my husband is already out the door so I don't have that silly "take care of the husband' crap.  Right now Ted, I love you.  Top of the list Baby.  As for the bottom of the list...

This morning started off bad a few days ago.  2 days ago I got a note from school saying there was a teacher's strike this morning.  SIDENOTE!  They strike differently in Australia.  Instead of going out on strike until demands are met and grievances aired they announce a work stoppage - teachers go to meetings and then go back to work.  I'm not sure what it accomplishes.  I'm very pro teacher but I fail to see how this forces the government to back down and do the right thing.  But that's another issue.  Back to my whining....I usually find the strikes a bit annoying but I support them - 2 generations out of the Pennsylvania Railroad and coal mines...yes, I'm pro-union.  But this time I had scheduled the washer repairman to come to my house between 9:30 and 12 and now the kids wouldn't be going to school until 11.  Grrrr.  If he gets here late there's no point in me dragging them out to school for just 2 hours.  Bugger.  Ok.  I've accepted and and we're moving on.  At least I can sleep in.

6:15 am  WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP!  Connor kicks in the door.  "Morning, Mummy.  Can I come in?  Tessi had an accident and weed on her bed.  Ooooh, is that the cat?  HERE KITTY!!!  Why doesn't Monty like me Mummy?  Why is he running away?"

I respond the only way I can, "Ahrump"

She leaves and a few seconds later another WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP!  Tessi kicks the door in, "Mummy, I WEED!!!!!  I don't know why, please mummy why did I wee?  Ooooh, is that the cat?  Hi Monty!  Come back Monty!  Mummy, Why doesn't Monty like me Mummy?  No one wants me around!!!!  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

I get a little more of Mummy Gumption raised and respond, "Ummmm"

This time I do wake up and stumble around until I get things cleaned up.  This is when I noticed that when Connor was sent to her room yesterday to clean she hasn't done a God.Damned.Thing.  You know how I know?  Her brand new Star Wars Fighter Pods are on the floor and under my feet.  Marvy, something new to hate more than LEGO and Littlest Damn Pet Shop.

I heard the kinder downstairs and begin the day.  No one wants to eat breakfast and honestly I don't care.  Every time I let them skip out of breakfast I can hear my mother's voice, "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" scraping through my brain.  It helps to put ear buds in at that point so you can't hear that crap.

We move along and as I get tired of listening to the fighting over what show to watch - Really?  Does it matter that much if it's "Total Drama Island" or "iCarly"  Really?  Both are total shite....  So I start dispensing chores.  Yes, I became popular real quick.  Teddy takes Damn Dog on death march and the girls are sent to ignore the crap...er um, I mean clean up the crap in their rooms.  I dont' care if they are ignoring it, I just want quiet downstairs.  Teddy returns with a happy dog and I send him off to his room to clean.  That's when the next phase of my morning began.

"Oh God!  REALLY?  Sasha, REALLY??!!  Why??!!", Teddy's bellows can be heard throughout the house.  Well, so much for my quiet moment.  Now I know this isn't good.  I grudgingly head to the boy's room and yes, Sasha has pooped ALL OVER THE FLOOR.  Now I'm not one for scatological humor because I just don't see that there is anything funny but I must share with you what I learned about animals on the floor there.  I learned that when you find that the 2 gallon container of rice in the pantry is contaminated with weevils because some dumb ass didn't close the lid right you should NOT take the rice and put it out in a secluded section of the yard so the possums can have some dinner.  No.  Don't do this because instead of 5-10 possums finding it one large damn stupid pain-in-the-ass dog will find the.entire.ever-loving.batch.  Now, we do know that rice is ok for dogs to eat but it would seem that a large amount, say about 2 gallons or about 7 litres worth of rice is not ideal for one rat bastard puppy's sensitive digestive system.  It was at this point that Monty and his "drag the squealing mouse under my bed during the night" punk-ass was redeemed a bit and he moved back above Sasha in my "I Will Kill You With My Bare Hands" list.  Congratulations Monty.  

So, as I am standing there cleaning this up Teddy, God love him, is standing next to me saying, "Oh Mom, thank you so much.  I'm so sorry, Thank you."  It's sincere.  I did say, "Next time you wonder why I send your little ass over to the expensive table for Mother's Day presents, I want you to remember this"  We shared a moment there I believe.  A connection.  Don't know how long it will last but after I was done cleaning and I washed my hands in Napalm he made me a cup of tea.  I was very grateful and said so in between my shouting at Sasha, "Some day you're going to die Dog and when you do I'LL DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE!"

For my animal loving friends out there...I know many of you will find that last bit disturbing.  Please try to cut me some slack and keep in mind that I didn't hit or kill the dog.  Nor did I open the gate shouting, "VIA CON DIOS!!!"  That HAS to count for something

It's now 9:30 and now Connor is pestering me for food.  When I tell her she can't have candy she wails, "But I'm hungry!  Won't you let me eat ANYTHING??!!"  I respond, "Yes, damnit!  Go eat your breakfast!"  Sigh...damn it Mom.....