Holiday Truths

 I had two extra minions in the house today so I decided that getting out of the house was the simplest way to preserve what was left of my sanity. After our adventures last week in Sydney Olympic Park takingArchery lessons I picked up a brochure about their "Kids in the Park" holiday activities.  There are some incredible activities offered there.  Archery, BMX bike races, Badminton, AFL, cooking and art classes...quite a selection.  The prices range from the very kind FREE (my personal favorite) to the uppercrustic $295 for three days of digital film making classes.

Let me just say right here, right now, I could win 2 separate lotteries totaling 300 million stored in untraceable off-shore accounts and I STILL wouldn't pay $300 for my kid to learn how to make a film. I'd rather buy them an iPod Touch and say, "Here, go figure it out.  Let me see it before you post it to You Tube."

Since I had five kids in tow I was more interested in the FREE activities.  I put free in all caps because I feel a very strong connection with the word and would like to boast of its importance in my life.  FREE, I need FREE things to do with kids.  Even the inexpensive Archery got pricey when you multiply it by three.  Times five?  No thank you...FREE, FREE is my friend.

I drove us down to do the Visitor Centre for the Crack the Code trail walk.  This sounded fun and educational while I was at home staring at the website.  After driving an hour there, finding the stupid Visitor Centre, then trying to find a place to park close enough to Centre that we could actually get there I decided to ditch the Code Cracking part of the trail.  

Turns out that in depth knowledge of a compass was needed.  Again, cuddled in the safety of my computer room , it didn't seem so bad.  Standing in front of the counter with two of the girls fighting with other two girls and Teddy snarling at everyone that walked by I decided that we needed less education and more physical movement.  We decided to take one of the four trial walks that has a picture list of of 18 objects to find as you head towards the Brickpit Ring.  It was only a couple of blocks and one of the pictures was of a monument to the discus throwers we walked by already, the other was just of a tree there were a few birds. This seemed easy enough to get through with a group of kids.

I decided that the picture of the tree was allowed to mean any tree we stumbled across.  Immediately Teddy jumped in arguing that it had to be a specific tree.  One only found at the end of the walk next to a certain kind of footpath.  I accidentally whacked his arm with the "Kids in the Park" brochure. "There are 5 kids here, Dumb Ass.  If we want to get out of here alive we have to let go of some things." I gritted out through clenched teeth. He braced himself for an intense battle but then overheard Connor screaming at Tessi to stop stealing her friend and Tessi yelling at anyone who walked in front of her.

I wouldn't say Teddy and I were instant friends right then but we both seemed to accept the connection we needed to survive all this Girl Power manifesting right in front of us.

As we headed out on the trail I reminded myself of a few truths about herding kids in public. Here are a few of them.

1.  Almost immediately someone will have to go to the bathroom.  Today that fun was ruined by the toilets being located right at the Visitor Centre.  It goes without saying that of course, no one had to go.

2.  When you have kids and come as a family they will be bored, angry and will whine about not having one of their friends with them.  If you are nice and offer to bring friends, there will be one kid who refuses to ask someone.  Today it was Teddy as he was so angry about being forced to go that he refused my offers at finding a cohort for him.  Since Captain Too Cool for everything was alone I made him my wingman.  That went over as poorly as you would think.

3.  Along the friends line if you are nice enough to bring a friend even then you still aren't safe.  Nooo.  Today two girls decided to switch dates and play with each other rather than the friends they usually pair up with.  This left the other two confused and angry.

Confused, angry, female and clues hunting trail do NOT go well together.  "Tell me Connor, what can you find on the list?"  "N.O.T.H.I.N.G. JUSTLEAVEMEALONE!!" 

Cue tears. 

Teddy starts laughing at her.  Not in the mood for this, I was equally mature and hit him again on the arm, only this time he stopped short so I raked my knuckles against his arm.  Apparently that causes a very similar reaction to having your arm slammed by a twenty pound sledge hammer.  At least you'd think that listening to him carry on about his arm.

Sighing deeply I looked down at the map and see that not only are we only 1/2 to the Brickpit Ring there are no liquor stores along the way. Trying not to be a coward I pressed on.  Soon we made it to the Brickpit Ring which looks like this:

                                              

 I would like to add that this point I was not aware that it was that high in the air.  We were walking towards it from the other side and I've never been there before.  When you're on the ground it looks a lot lower to the ground.  Also, I didn't quite grasp how large around it was.  We walked down to the entrance and I took some more photos.  

                                                 

Looking at the picture can you guess who is happy and who isn't?  I know, it's really difficult.  Don't worry, the moods change in about 30 seconds so perfectly understandable if you've guessed wrong.  As we step out onto the ring Connor finally cottons on to the fact that this sucker is waaaaay up in the sky and course...she panics.  Since I am no lover of heights myself I begin to feel less than thrilled myself.  By the time we got 1/2 way around both of us were clinging onto to each other like a life raft and rating our fears on a 1-10 scale.  Connor got to 9 and I got to 7.

Actually I was sitting quite squarely on 8.5 but I couldn't tell HER that.  I had to figure out how to get us all off this ring of terror with as few tears as possible.  We managed to find a few more items on our checklist before the fear consumed Connor and myself.   You can from the picture below how excited everyone was about this.  Especially Teddy, his glee was palpable.

                                                 

        

Exiting the ring of death was the cue for the serious whining to start.  Here are a few more outings truths for you.

1.  One child will always get too tired to move another step.  They will beg and whine to be carried.  Unfortunately for them I am NOT carrying anyone over the age of 8 unless a leg is dangling from a tendon.  What I suggest is that the poor exhausted child run ahead and rest while the rest of us walk up.  This child fell for this every.single.time.I said it.  She was quite proud of herself for "forcing" me to let her rest. Yeah, she beat me alright.

2. Someone will get a blister.  Unfortunately this time that person was me.  Even worse was that I knew it would happen.  It does every time I wear these shoes.  I can't throw them out though because they are Merrel's and everyone knows that Merrel's are the most comfortable brand of shoe.  Mine are insanely comfortable, except in that one tiny spot that the flesh is strategically ripped away. Don't judge me. I can't buy expensive shoes often but when I do I hold onto them. For a LONG time.

Today we made it out of Sydney Olympic Park alive.  No one has called the police me. I call that a win for the day...Hell, for the entire holidays.  Sure, two girls weren't talking to each other, and Teddy still isn't talking to me but he is laughing uproariously at his sister. One of the girls who is being ignored has no idea she's in trouble. The other girl feels the wrath but honestly doesn't care a single whit.  Once we were home all problems were solved with some chicken nuggets, crackers and then a trip to the new neighborhood park with the girls and better yet leaving Teddy home alone with his precious Xbox.  

By the end of the day the couples paired up as they were supposed to and friendships were mended.  As with most outings with kids, few things end up as you planned. That's the last truth I want to share with you today.  The really crazy parents

are the ones who have to keep everything organized and on the planned schedule. If you can improvise a bit and let a few hiccups occur then it should all work out in the end.

                                     

                                             

                                                                   

If you can't, then kept some Advil and some Hard Cider in the house.  That helps too.