Five years ago today my family stumbled blear- eyed off of a 14 hour flight and woke up in Sydney. A new country, a new continent and even a new hemisphere. Within 24 hours of travel time we left the mild temps of Spring in North Texas and arrived in the mild temps of Fall in Australia. Looking back I marvel at our audacity and stupidity. My husband, being a military brat, grew up around the world. So moving wasn't new to him. I moved all over the Northeastern US as a kid so I wasn't a slouch either. But moving as a kid is VERY different than moving as an adult. I developed a new found respect for my parents and my in-laws.
Moving is vile. Moving with kids is horrific. Moving internationally with kids is beyond words.
In our arrogance Ted and I thought we'd be fine because 1) we've moved before, many times and 2) Australians speak English. We figured we would just have to learn to drive on the other side of the road and all would be good. I don't think its possible for us to have been any more wrong. From learning about subtle, yet important culture differences to learning to drive on the other side of the road to finding out they are serious about closing stores at 5:00 to constantly being the US representative for every damn thing that happens - "I don't know what George Bush was thinking, that's kinda why we're here" - it was all right there...in our faces every day. On top of that mountain there was the minor task of raising 3 young children; 2 of which were within a year of being diagnosed with Autism. Every night I knew, I just knew it was all going to Hell and we weren't going to be able to pull it off. When it takes 3 months to get a telephone installed you know things aren't looking good for the home team. My mother had died 4 months before we moved and I was still reeling from grief...no matter how old you are when you're scared, alone and lost you just want your mom. I still do. If I sit very quietly and concentrate I can smell her perfume...Emmeraude.
It was a nightmare. And it was one of our own choosing to add insult to injury.
But then things change. I made friends with some of the moms at Teddy's school. I got the girls into a pre-school. We bought a car and within 6 months I could drive without feeling nauseous. We were the Yank family - I started feeling like there were things I could do. Things I could handle. Connor and Tessi were in their therapies and while I'd be a massive liar if I said it was easy or even not horrible...it was working. Both my daughters are in a mainstream school. Many people don't even know they are Autistic. Teddy is doing well and is known as Texas Ted by some, well people who like to annoy him. We laugh that he's bilingual because he knows the words nappies and diapers and can use Imperial and Metric.
So what I have I learned in 5 years.
1) People are people no matter where you live. In a group of 3 people, 2 will talk about the 3rd. The gaggle of moms at the school is the same everywhere. Kids are vicious little monsters to each other one minute and then offer unconditional love the second.
2) Americans have a really bad reputation outside the US. Some of it deserved, some of it not. Yes, we have our share of rotten jerks in government and many mistakes have been made. However racism, bigotry, greed and cowardice were not invented in the US. What has YOUR government done to stop injustice?
3) The Pacific Ocean is NOT warm. I freeze my tush off every time I get into the water at the beach. Seriously, 1000 degrees in the shade and I step in the water and my teeth turn blue. Insane.
4) Australians are the BEST at understanding that you work hard and you play hard. I mean this with the utmost respect. When they are on holiday work can stick it. I love that. Americans really could learn from this ideology. I bet the number heart attacks would plummet.
5) They have weird beautiful terrifying and ridiculous insects here. Seriously. I thought most of this stuff was made up. It's not. See some of my previous posts.
6) Australians are fiercely independent but have a weird tie to the Crown. Americans will NEVER understand any reason why a county would allow another country to have say over their government, recognize their holidays or have the Queen on their money. Australians will never understand the American need to be on it's own and turn it's back on a fundamental part of it's history. Deal with it. We're just going to have to agree to disagree. By the way, I will NOT sign an allegiance to Betsy when I become a citizen in a few years. The Australian Govt now has another form immigrants can sign because there were so many objections.
7) The Australians have treated their indigenous population just as horribly as the Americans treated the Native Americans. There is no restitution strong enough to rectify that fact. The horrors were just too great. I think apologies are needed from the governments (Australia has done so) but the indigenous people need to give up thinking that they will get enough repayment to make amends. Both sides need to move forward. The future generations deserve peace.
8) I will never fully understand Cricket. I swear to God they change the rules just to mess with me. 5-6 hours to play 1/2 the game? Stopping for tea breaks? Professional games that can last 5 days and end in a drawl? Nooooo, that's weird to me. I like AFL as it makes more sense to me. You run, kick the ball and hit people. That is a sport I can relate to. Rugby is growing on me. But to be honest, I miss my Steelers. Go B&G!!!!!!!!!!!
9) I miss my family in the US and I miss cheap shopping. Christ Almighty things are expensive here. But I don't want to live in the US again. I'm not a True Blue Aussie but I'm not a Yankee Doodle Dandy anymore. Not sure what that makes me. Perhaps a little of both?
Happy Anniversary Tencza Family!
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