This picture shows the truth of parenthood. Parenthood is messy. It is constantly finding bits and bobs of grossness around you and dealing with it. It is longing for a gorgeous Coach bag but spending the money on cricket camp. It is getting out of bed with an 102 fever and washing school uniforms. It is going to Little Athletics every Saturday and getting suckered to man the sign up table and listen to other parents whine for four hours. It is watching Jimmy Newtron and Dora the Explorer over and over until your head explodes. It's being so despert for silence you gleefully offer money for them to play the Quiet Game. It is having an honest, sincere conversation about the different characteristics of zombies while trying to unpack moving boxes. Alright....I actually liked that conversation, but my point is still valid.
It is not having kids to prove that you can. They should never be trophies or proof of love. It is certainly not to bring up tiny personal servants. Your children owe you respect, love and curtesy, not their entire lives.
Not everyone should be parents. They are not bad people. There is nothing wrong with them. Stop trying to pressure people to have kids. Worry about your life, leave theirs alone.
Parenthood is never about being the perfect parent. It's knowing that the best of everything isn't possible and picking and choosing where you can. It's not hating yourself for not being the best all the time. It's forgiving yourself when you do crack and act far less than perfect.
Parenthood is being hated sometimes. It doesn't mean you have to enjoy being hated; masochism is not necessecary or even desired. However it does mean that there will be times a bad guy will be needed and no matter how much you hate it...some days it must be you. Man up and take one for the team. Parents are not their kids friends. Some of you think you are, but I'm sorry, you just aren't. You are not doing them any favors acting like you just like them. Be the grown up and let them have their own friends and you have yours.
Parenthood is not living only for your children. Those of you who walk around saying how you'd die without your kids or share with pride how they've never spent the night away from them....please stop and think. Can you image the pressure you are putting on the children you claim to love? There have been too many moments where I was 100% responsible for my mothers happiness and it nearly crushed me. I felt as if I never was allowed to make a mistake or else I would destroy her. When I did make mistakes...and there were plenty, I could see the pain in her eyes and I was filled with self-loathing for days, weeks, months and yes sometimes years. Have a life away from your kids. It doesn't have to be much, a monthly book club perhaps or even just a cup of tea out alone somewhere...but have something. Let them see that they are not responsible for everything about you.
Parenthood is complex. It is wonderful and horrible. Bliss and agony. It is 24/7 and it lasts the rest of your life.
Until you can do all of the above, please don't try to wear the salt dough-covered ring. You just aren't ready and kids are far, far too important for anything less than a fully encrusted ring.
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