This One Time....at Band Camp....

No, no, no!  Not that!

Shame on you for going immediately to an obscene pop culture reference.  For those of over 60 who do not understand it I am NOT explaining it, no matter what you say.

My lovely daughter Connor is planning her first band camp experience.  I don't know if it's just our school or all of Australia but band is introduced at an early age.  Connor is in Year 4 and she is already late by a year.  Everyone else started last year in Year 3. I didn't pick up my first instrument until the end of 6th grade as I recall.  No matter, she is up and running and tomorrow leaves for 2 nights and 3 days at a sleep away camp.

Several years ago Teddy went to his one and only band camp. One would think I know what to expect and am prepared.  That one person who thinks that obviously doesn't know me and should slip away quietly into the night.  I am running around like a moron trying to get everything she needs and get it all packed. This is a bit disturbing as in truth,  she doesn't NEED all that much.

According to the official Normanhurst Band Camp list of needed items it's just a few changes of clothes, her music stand, instrument, sleeping bag and pillow and toiletries.

Sadly for me and my pocketbook the official list and Madam Female Fashionista's requirements do not line up exactly. Connor has very definite ideas of what constitutes necessary items.

I hate playing the gender preferences card, I really do.  I have worked quite hard all my kids lives to make sure that that they have clothes or play with toys/games they like rather than ones that are *gender appropriate*  I even hate that phrase.  Every time I get something and I hear with shock, "For a girl?!!!"  or "Wait, that's not for your son right?" I know I've hit a winner in my book.  But there are certain realities even this staunch feminist must accept.

Little boys and little girls are different.  Not BETTER or WORSE, but different. You can try to level the playing field all you want but they are different creatures all together. And like all creatures there are groups that do things a certain way. Sure there are tomboys and and sensitive boys and they are great.  As a parent I think it's vital to allow those that stray from the mainstream to embrace that and be different.  I think different is awesome.  However in my house I have noticed some very finite absolutes and stereotypes that are alive and well.

Packing for the boy is decidedly different than packing for the girl.  Same camp held at the same location.  Same age when they attend camp.  Both are carbon based beings that require air and water to survive.  That's where the similarities end.

Here is how the BOY handled camp:

I sent Teddy to his band camp with the list approved items.  Three days later he came back with a suitcase full of clean clothes looking and smelling like a dead goat.  This is because he wore the same thing for 3 days.  He didn't even crack the seal on the shampoo, box of soap and toothpaste.  Not surprisingly just 2 months ago I sent him to his Year 7 camp and he came home the same way.  Sure, it's disgusting and in the end I burned the underwear...some things can only be killed with fire....but it was a small suitcase and the laundry was easy to do.  I can live with that.  What I can't live with we have antibiotics for.  All good.

Now the GIRL'S Way:

For Connor I'm sending off 3 color coordinated outfits that accentuate her friends attires nicely.  I don't know what the other little girls are wearing but I know that intense thought and reflection were put into choosing the outfits to make sure that they would go with as many as possible ensemble combinations.  There are at least 5 pairs of socks depending on which fit her foot at the right ankle height for each of the shoes shes bringing.

 That brings us to a very serious dilemma as Connor found out she wasn't allowed to bring her thongs (flip flops)  "M.u.m.m.y. (hear the drip.drip.drip of condescension?  Me neither.  That's because it's a god damned flood) thongs are what people MY age wear."

Really?  MY AGE?!  As if I'm the one who invented wearing closed toe shoes at camp.  A camp way out in the woods mind you with bugs and dirt and stuff.  She doesn't even like touching the dirt that's been on the dog's back a few days and she's going to go rock climbing in thongs?  Riiiiiight.  I have her pack the extra shoes with the promise of picking out more socks.

New pj's had to be procured because at her age no one is wearing princess anymore.  It simply isn't done.  "Really Mummy, I will be 9 in just 8 days....how can I possibly wear princess out of the house?"

I know....it's soooo not fashion forward.

Ohhh, dear God...the toiletry bag. What do we pack in that?

The BOY'S Way:

Teddy went with a small bottle of shampoo/conditioner, his asthma medicines a toothbrush and comb.

The GIRL'S  Way;

Connor looked at me with horror when I suggested the combo shampoo/conditioner.  After all, Teddy didn't even use it.  No, no.  Madam needs large, full size bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body wash.  Don't forget the second hand towel for drying her eyes when the water touches her face.  Also, lotion.  She must have scads of lotion.  Don't I know how cold it gets at these camps?  Skin dries out in the cold! She will be out in the middle of nowhere.  My God!  What if her lips get chapped?  Fear not for the 3, not just 1, but 3 lip balms packed should help her survive.

I should mention at this time that it actually isn't winter and we've had  record-breaking warm temperatures this Fall.  Excuse me....Autumn.  The real danger that will cause her lips to dry out is her talking too much.  THAT'S a real problem.  I pack the lip balm.

Connor has become accustomed to having two toothbrushes.  One for the upstairs bathroom and one the downstairs one.  Don't judge.  It makes my life easier.  However Miss Thing wants to bring both with her.  I tried to explain the concept of a two story house versus barracks but I could see that she had tuned me out.  I was able to deduce this when she spun on her heal and walked off with both toothbrushes in her hand and said, 'Whatever, you can't be sure you're right"

She has a point.  It's true that I haven't been an 8 (days away from 9) year old girl in many years and of course I wasn't one in Australia.  Perhaps the laws of physics don't apply here or maybe camps have changed so much over the years that each child has an upstairs and downstairs bath.  I keep hearing about how my generation is coddling kids too much, maybe this is how.

Now we get to the sleeping bag.

The BOY'S Way:

Teddy packed a sleeping bag that was his father's and has the smell of OLD to prove it.  He didn't care.  He took along a sheet but never unpacked it.  I think he used the bag to have sliding races in the hall.

The GIRL'S Way:

Connor is taking the same sleeping bag.  She is NOT happy about that.  It smells like boy.  Teddy has slept in it.  It's not even purple for God's sake.  She asks if I can "sew something" to it to make it more appropriate.  She even waved hear hands around like a prom queen wave as she said, "something"

My offer to sew her head to it is met with disgust and boredom.  I'm actually considering short sheeting the damn thing but I figure that will just earn me a late phone call Friday night to come get her.  Her personality though, is making me dream about every camp prank I've ever heard of just to get the image of her waving her hand at me out of my skull before I snap and put food coloring in her toothpaste.

I just took a quick check to see what Connor had packed in the bag before she left this morning.  She assured me that everything was set and ready go.  Inside I found 4 sets of PJ's - I said she could take one.  There were 5 pairs of socks, 3 pairs of shorts and 4 short sleeved white shirts, two t shirts with cats on them, 1 pair of sneakers and her cat stuffed animal.  Also 3 Warrior Cats books.

No pillow, music stand, jumper (sweater) or underwear.

Yep.  All set.

I admit it.  I toyed with just zipping it up and sending her on her merry way.  I giggled when I pictured the  first time she realizes that she needs to wear her jammies as clothes cause she didn't pack pants.  Alright, I roared with laughter when I thought of her trying to go "commando" or rest her weary head on her small stuffed cat.

I laughed and then I fixed it.  She is all set and will have a great time full of music, wardrobe changes and pillow fights.

Mother's Day is coming.  I want jewelry.