Before I begin today's post I feel that I must say something about the bomb attacks in Boston. I had two friends who were running in the marathon. I spent the day a bit in horror along with everyone else. I had planned to write in this blog yesterday because because I had a doozy of a time staying awake all night with Damn Dog the night before because of a thunder storm. The 3 kids are home with me now for school holidays and we were trapped inside by rain. Each of them had a friend over so that's 6 kids, 2 sets of siblings, a kids computer with a malfunctioning keyboard and mouse, a crazed dog and a strung-out mother.
Obviously there were some epic stories for me to share. Pure gold.
But after reading online about the destruction and death....really, who the hell cares about a whining mom and her kids? Not me. Not yesterday. I waited to hear about friends just to know if they were still alive. Mercifully, they were alright. I watched horrifying video and nauseatingly gory pictures. I went to bed with my head spinning.
That was yesterday and today I'm writing because to hell with those bastards. They stole the day yesterday but they can't have today. That's too much.
So I'm back to talking about my life because I still have one. It's full of lunatics and chaos but I have it.
Right now I'm sitting at a park watching my girls off in the distance fight over whose turn it is to go on the flying fox (zip wire) I don't mind the fighting because they are far enough away that I can pretend they are someone else kids.
"Tsk! Tsk! what a shame that those girls don't know how to behave!" I mutter knowingly. (Giggle to self)
Plausible deniability. My kids sound Australian now so our accents don't match. I'm the funny talker here, they obviously can't be mine. HA! No one will know! I can sit there with righteous indignation and gloat about my awesome parenting skills with unsuspecting strangers.
That is until they come over to me to demand arbitration. Damn it. I forgot to account for their need for never ending need for public awareness of their suffering. Rookie mistake. Usually I know better. I blame the lack of sleep the other night. It just messes with my thought processing for days.
I tried pretending that I didn't know them but that just got me into more trouble. Resigned to my fate, I dutifully pretended to listen to their tale of woe. In truth, I have no idea what either of them were blathering about. I think it had something to do with gravity brutally forcing them to the ground after letting go of the wire and someone laughing about someone else landing on their bottom. Pride was damaged, feelings were hurt and clothes got dirty. I didnt listen too closley because from my perspective it didnt matter. I can honestly say in my little world sometimes it's wholly irrelevant which kid was the victim and which was the perpetrator...justice is dispensed the same.
"FINE! If you can't play together nicely, we're leaving. I have plenty of work for you both to do at home!"
Not unexpectedly, the storm clouds of children's pain and angst evaporated into the open skies right before my eyes. "Oh no Mommy, we were just joking. We love playing together. I know! Lets play together right now! Over there!"
I believe this is how sprinters are born. Running away from mom before she doles out work is a phenomenal training method. My girls have not only run away from the picnic table I'm sitting at, they have left the playground area and are hiding in the bush. Out of the corner of my eye I can see them huddled up, staring at me from inside the greenery. They are working together as a team to hide from me so they can avoid cleaning their rooms.
I'll be a good mother and let them get away with it for awhile. It's importsnt to promote and encourage team work after all. Besides it won't last long. It's going to take Connor about 30 seconds to realize that she is standing near bugs and spiders and she'll come flying out like she's been launched by a canon. When the happens I'll gather them up and we'll head home. I've left Teddy home alone as he is far too cool to come to a park with us. He's at home on the Xbox defending his HALO stret cred. As his mother it's my God-given right not to let him enjoy this ill-gained peace, quiet and happiness too long.
Ahhhhhh, there is the earth-shattering scream I was waiting for. Sheesh, she lasted a few minutes. Wasn't expecting that at all. Agian, my brain must be more zapped than I realized. maybe time to start free-basing Diet Coke.
now with this level of child screamin most mother would stop typing and look up...at least check to see if their child is ok.
By now, there really cant be anyone who reads this that doesnt know that I am not most mothers. I can hear her screaming just fine as she's running towards me. I learned years ago that if you can scream you can breath. If you can breath you are not dead. If you are not dead I do not need to look up.
I may not need to look up but I do need to get the screaming to stop before my ears start to bleed. That is the subtle sign that it's time to leave. The offending bug has been removed so now we are homeward bound. It wasn't a long trip to the park but it accomplished what I needed. We were out of the house. We got some vitimin D and fresh air. The sounds of anarchy were let loose to the heavens rather just my ears.
For me, that's a win for the day.
I'll write more another time about Damn Dog and the kids. I'm sure tomorrow will bring more stories. It usually does.
