Home Inspection Day!
We were granted a reprieve on the last one because I decided to test the laws of gravity and have a shelf descend upon me. But today is the day and we're back on schedule for getting the house ready. Most people spend the morning tidying up a few loose ends and doing a quick eye test to make sure everything is in its place.
Not me! I'm out in the bush, trying to sweetly call, "Here Kitty, Kitty" because Monty has taken off for the hills. I don't know how he knew about today, but somehow he figured it out and he took off after breakfast. See we don't have a cat, not as far as the real estate agents are concerned. Renting is so tough in Sydney that we had to not mention the furry one when applying for this house. Which is a bit sad since he's the animal I like. Sasha is a bit harder to hide though.
So there I was, calling into the trees, "Here Monty, come on you little rat bag. We have to go!" in a very sweet, kind and nurturing voice you know. Now I could just leave him outside and claim that he's the neighbor cat when the agent comes but no....this inspectin time I was clever and scheduled Monty's vet appointment during the time I need to hide him. Kill two birds with one stone as it were. But since I still seem to be trapped in a state of bad luck that is surpassed only the the Donner Party and the Titanic's Third Class, Monty figured out my cunning plan and was determined to best me at my own game.
I head out to find the cat and leave Ted to herd the kids into last minute chores. I don't think you have to be a child rearing expert to understand that when choosing between picking up leaves, cleaning up after the dog and looking for the cat, my kids chose the cat. Imagine the success I enjoyed traipsing through the bush, listening for bugs and snakes, calling the cat and every 2 minutes trying frantically to shush my "helpers" as they each took turns trying to nab Sir Feline. Monty, not being a dumb ass, took the kids's presence as a call to battle and would knick off back into the seclusion of the bug-infested bush and lie and wait. Only after threatening to duck tape Tessi's mouth and delete all the episodes of Ultimate Cake Off did she finally leave and I was able to coax Himself out.
All of this occurred in about 10 minutes but as you can imagine, it felt like 40. I am a creature of routines and particularly in the morning, I need a steady plan. It has a lot to do with me not being a morning person, plus stress, plus kids. That all adds up to me losing my ever-loving mind when the tiniest thing goes awry and when it all goes to Hell...well look out.
So my fellow moms and dads, take heart. This morning while you were getting ready for the day at least you weren't hunting wild kitties and batting away the natives. That's my job!
