Mama Told me There'd be Days Like This...

...there'll be days like this, mama said.

Utter crap. My mother NEVER, EVER told me that there'd be days like this one. Nope. Of course if she had I would have had her committed for being nutso.

Woke up early, as usual and was trying to get the 3 monkeys ready for school. I wanted to make sure Ted had his ticket to the movies as he was meeting us just before it started and in case his train was late or he had to work late he'd have. The school was having a fundraiser so we all bought tix to see Monsters V. Aliens. Well, I lost the tix morning. LOST THEM. Finally Ted had to leave or else miss his train so out he went. 10 minutes later I found the tix. Crumpled up and thrown away in the recycle bag....yeah, so good for the environment.

Start hauling kids to the car to get Tessi to preschool. Halfway there remember that I haven't done Tessi's hair. More accurately Tessi notices that she doesn't have a hair pretty. Damnit. Spend rest of car ride soothing angry child. Get home with 2 other children; one of which decides its fun to hit and kick brother. So I tell her I am taking away lolly money for the disco at school that day. Vesuvius erupts. As we walk in door I notice that I had forgotten to put Sasha, now known as Damn Dog, in her crate and yes, she's peed all over the floor. Of course, here in Australia they call it wee so Connor starts screaming that Sasha - Damn Dog - has weed. Which to see in the written form looks a little funny. So as I'm cleaning up after Damn Dog I yell at Connor to stop crying and she can earn her lolly money back. I get her to clean up some toys, sweep the floor and some other damn stuff and she gets her money back. Teddy rolls up his poster on Uluru that he's made for homework and off we go to walk to school.

Only it's POURING down rain....again. So into the car for the 200 yard walk. My neighbors give me the LOOK but I point out the homework and that I have to dash right off...doesn't matter. I get the "Oh look at the American and see her drive such a small distance" Sigh...great day. It continues to pour as I walk to the clothing pool to buy Teddy new pants as the old ones are now high waters. The gal knows me the second I walk in because I walk in so much. Sigh...at least we're out of the rain.

Of course we're out of the rain because as soon as we go inside IT STOPS RAINING. No matter. Drop Connor off at her room, take off and head to the shops. There's some sale items I need to get at Aldi and I want to make sure I get there. Only I didn't bargain for the crowd hovering at Aldi's. Over 70, looking for a bargain, and pissed about the store waiting until opening time to open. Seriously, these people made the Macy's and Filene's crowd look tame. One woman, hunched over and holding onto her cart (called trolley here) actually PLOWED through another equally hunched woman to get up to the front, all the while muttering, "I was here first" The mowed-down woman's husband came racing to her defense...well...racing is bit harsh...let's just say he got there and he started shouting at Speed Racer but apparently she had hearing problems 'cause she just kept pushing on. I kept my distance. I really wasn't interested in getting my ass kicked by the geriatric brigade over a mattress pad and copy paper.

Back home and nice afternoon with my quilting friend and then....2:55.....School is out. Pick up Connor and her friend that is coming home for a play. Grab Teddy and head to talk to his teacher about mix up with his Uluru project. Teddy originally made a diorama only to have Mr. Barling tell him it was supposed to be a poster. Today I found out why Mr. Barling was so brusque about that. Seems the worksheet with the instructions on how to do the project had the word poster written 5 DAMN TIMES. Of course I never SAW this sheet, even though it was glued into his workbook. Offer 2 different moms a free son for their family on the way home but no takers.

But kind neighbor invites Teddy over for a play to spare him from the girl fest Connor has planned. Cool. Her daughter comes over too and it's all good. Then the owner of our house stops by. No problem, everything is ok. Only it's the first time he's seeing Damn Dog - the dog he really didn't want us to have. Girls come out of Connor's room screaming and running all over the house. I let Sasha out of her crate because she's barking at Phil and I wanted her to sniff him and stop. Oh she did...and then peed all over the floor around Phil. Then of course the girls start screaming, "OH NO! SASHA IS WEEING!!!!!!"

Get everything cleaned up, placate owner, send one girl home and then other girls mother comes to collect her. Teddy comes home and then we're off to pick up Tessi and head to the movies. I go WWAAAYYY early to get parking because I've heard out of 350 tix, 296 have been sold. We park near the theater, walk through the train station and head to the shops to get dinner. Ted meets us there and it's all good. We head back to theater. I take the girls to the bathroom and Connor gets stuck in the stall. She's flicked the latch over and can't pull it back. So, not having any other choice I send Tessi underneath to open the door, which she did and back out we go and save seats for our friends and see the movie...which was hilarious by the way. Connor and Tessi did well but they got a little scared at times. Don't know if Teddy was scared because he ditched us after we paid for the ice cream and didn't see him again until after the movie.

Head out and drive home and get the girls to bed and start to put Teddy in bed and I notice that his bed is wet. I stupidly asked him what happened and he said, and I'm not kidding, "Oh, I spilled my water last night" "Last night? Did you say last night? Why didn't you tell me this morning when you got up?" And Tweedle Dum actually said, "I forgot" Now he's sleeping on the couch and I am typing this missive. Mainly because I want someone to read this before it gets hazy in my mind or that I start to think it's not really as bad I thought. I swear, if I had read this passage before I had kids...nah, I'd still have them, but mainly because I wouldn't have believed it was all possible in a single day.