Teddy Continues Quest to Drive Me Barking Mad

Last night at the dinner table Teddy looks up and says, "Oh by the way, I forgot..." immediately I start glaring and start to reach for the bread knife. I figure I get hit him with it and not cause too much damage. "Um, I have to turn in my library book tomorrow. I got a note saying it was overdue and I have to take it back or pay for it" Which is reasonable...unless you know that he had Library time LAST Thursday which means he waited a week to tell me the night before it was due that the book is lost. Even less reasonable when you know that he was ABSENT from school last Thursday with a fever so this pearl is from TWO weeks ago. Better yet...he can't remember the name of the book. Only that it's brown and has a gecko on the cover.

So it begins. He looks everywhere. By that I mean he walks into a room and says, "Nope, it's not here" I leave to go get my hair cut and leave Ted to search. Insert eye roll and uproarious laughter here. Come back. No book. Only now Teddy is frantically looking because Ted has explained the HE has to buy the book, not us. No joy. He goes to bed. In the morning we start again. By we I mean I as I am actually looking underneath things for book - I use this as another opportunity to point out the merits of cleaning out one's room every millennium...which is in turn ignored.

No book. It's gone. Teddy bursts into tears and laments downfall of western society as he is forced to pay for everything in the world. I sob too - -just to hide my laughter. Go to school and walk to library, librarian not in yet. I ask Teddy's teacher to help look and quest becomes a school matter. I leave a rather morose Teddy.

Pick up the prince after school and hear, "Mom, we don't have to pay for the book. I forgot to tell you that I already returned the book a while ago" I turned to 2 women standing next to me, interrupted their conversation, " Excuse me, if I kill my son in front of you, would you be willing to testify in court that I didn't do it?" Having met Teddy before they both agreed readily. One mother on the jury and I swear to GOD I would be carried out on their shoulders.