Merry Christmas!

It's Christmas Eve now.  Everything is wrapped and under the tree and we're about to head off to bed.  I hope the holidays...whatever you celebrate, bring you peace and happiness.  If not that...at least a new iPod.

Love and happiness to you all.  Merry Christmas from way Down Under.....

Wine Recommendation

I owe my life to a Houghton Quill Pinot Noir Chardonnay sparkling wine this evening.  I thought I would recommend it to you all.  Here's why...

At about 3:15ish my son's friend, visiting from Wales took him to bowling.  The boys haven't seen each other in almost 2 years.  I pomised Jacob's parents that we would be home waiting, whenever they returned.  Julie thought they would be back in about 2 hours.  No problem, it's hot.  I didn't want to go anywhere.  I had spent 2 hours grocery shopping this morning with crazed Christmas shoppers, I was done.

At about 4:30 I notice that Tessi has a red line in the corner of her eye.  Normally this wouldn't phase me as Tessi is...well...Tessi.  However, I know this red line.  This red line has been the bane of my exsistence for a few weeks.  It's ring worm.  I know it because we've been battling it with Monty and several of us in the family for 2 weeks.  Honestly, I don't know how Monty has anything alive on him with all the pills, creams and twice weekly baths with basicially a turpentine substance but it's hearty stuff and now it's hit Tessi.

Now, I do know what to do.  I have the cream but I'm concerned because it's RIGHT in the crease of her eye and I'm not sure if I can give her the over the counter medicine I have.  So, I call the pharmacist (pharmacists are WAY cooler in Australia by the way, they are like a dr - light.  It's pretty aweseme, most of the imte) However today, the chemist says, no go...anything near the eye I should go to the dr.  Ok, I call my madly busy dr's office and first the gal at the phone tries to put me off but when she hears my tale of woe she says to bring Tessi in NOW and she' ll work me in.

Ok-ey.  I can't call Julie.  I don't have a number for her so I can't be sure Teddy has someplace to go.  I call my friend Penny and concoct a convelouted plan for me to take Connor to her and have her grab Teddy but as I'm leaving I see my neighbor Sue is home from work so she agrees to grab Teddy when Julie brings him home and I decide to just keep Connor with me as we race to the drs, of course on my way I go to the bowling alley in case I can see them.  Which of course I can't, so now Connor is in a real tizzy over the noise and confusion of the bowling alley.

Get to the dr's and wait 30 min only to hear that the dr is stumped too.  Lovely.  He can't find any anti-fungal med for the eye but it must be treated as it could contaminate the eyelid and really cause damage.  He instructs me to use the over-the-coutner medicine only I should be careful, if it gets in her eye I'll blind her.  Ok, so no pressure.  Not like Tessi is known for random, unexpected crying hissy fits that could wash the medicine into her eye.  No problem.  In the hands of a mere mortal this might be a problem but I am in fact, me...so No Worries.

At this point, Julie has returned Teddy to my house and found my note and called me in a panic. The lovely woman wants to stay and help even though she's an hour away from where she's spending the night.  God bless her.  She's a lovely soul.  I assure her that all's well and to send Teddy to the neighbor house - Sue's expecting him.  I race home with the girls and of course...Teddy is annoyed that I got home sooner than expected.

By this time it's 6:45 and I'm NOT cooking.  I order pizza.  Only there's a glich in the system and it won't let me order online so I have to call and for that I get charged an extra $4 a pizza, even though it's THEIR COMPUTERS PROGRAMMING ERROR.  STINKIN PROGRAMMERS!!!!  YOU'RE USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No matter, we got paid yesterday so I don't mind throwing money away.  Pizza arrives, only had to referr 3 fights while waiting.  Sat down to eat and Teddy decides THAT'S a good time to ask if Santa is real.  I blow it off until the girls go to bed and after my friend calls to ask about Tessi and I have to warn her to watch for ringworm signs in her kids as she watched mine today.  She LOVES me right now.

After the girls go to bed I brace myself for the talk with Teddy, cause Ted is still out at his corporate kegger so it's up to me to destroy Teddy's childhood and explain Santa to him.  He's fine,  Hell, he just wanted to make sure he still gets presents.  We comiserate the end of an era with a few reditions of "Eye of the Tiger" and "Living On a Prayer" on Guitar Hero.

It's then I that I found this lovely bottle of sparkling wine.  Most of the way through it and I can unclench my teeth again.  It has a lovely bouquet.  Not pretentious at all.  I highly recommend it.  In fact, I insist on it.

I Hate Technology

If I had a sense of humor right now I would see the irony in someone who is using a computer to write a blog lamenting the woes of modern technology.  Like I said, IF I had a sense of humor right now.

I have my friend Penny's kids coming over to join 2 of my cherubs today.  In an effort to entertain I planned to make snowflakes.  I wanted to print out different cool patterns but apparently my computer has decided the my printer's USB cable is sooooo passe.  I didn't know this was even a possibility.  I've unplugged and plugged, rebooted and sworn and shook cables around but it's no go.  The printer is yesterday's news.  Yep, this is sooooo what I need today.

Sigh....no rest for the wicked I suppose.

An Evening of Quiet

Ted took the kids and went to a friends party.  I suppose that's all I need to write.  I doubt highly there's a single person who reads this and knows me can't understand what that entails for me.  I'm just so exhusted right now...I know who isn't, but over the weekends I just step back at leave it all to Ted.  Not fair I know but I can't think of what else to do.

Connor is too much right now.  I'm really seeing that.  At least too much for me.  Sooo, tomorrow starts a great search for some activities for Madam.  Maybe if I get her mind off of Kindy ending and being scared about change I can get her to tone down a bit.  Did find out who her new teacher is and while I'm not 100% sure what I think...at least it's a name I can start throwing out to her.  It's a start.

I realized last night part of why I was so upset about Connor turning her daily tirade on Teddy.  I'm supposed to protect my children.  What do I do when I have to protect my children from my children?  If someone lays into Teddy it's simple...I stop them.  Always have, I know what to do and I do it.  But when the aggressor is Connor...what am I supposed to do?  Connor's not a monster.  She's terrified about her world around her and has no real way of telling us...at least not in a manner that the rest of us can understand.  But she's vicious and relentless..2 qualities which combined are too much for Teddy.  Hell, they're too much for me.
I can't stop Connor in the way I need to protect Teddy.  I can't continue to be Connor's whipping post either. 

I've taken to reading some blogs written by adults with Asperger's.  Some of it's pretty brutal.  Such bluntness, such critisizm, such...I don't know the right words...disquieting perhaps?  My daughter is a member of a community that I know nothing about...honestly, one in which I am vocally not welcome.  Sadly, when reading their thoughts, I'm not sure I want to be.

Yet, I have to find a way.  I can't handle the thought of Connor living her life separated from her family.  She maybe different..I dunno, maybe she is fine and we're different...but we are family...there has to be some way.  I don't want her grown up feeling like the world is plotting against her, that she is "owed" something and everything would be fine if we all just did things her way.

Jesus...reading that does make me wonder if she is fine and I'm the one with the problem.

Posting #112

I can't title the posting what I would like to because my father and mother and father-in-law read this and I can't have them know I use that kind of language.

Connor is in rare form today and for once it's not going after me.  Sadly, she's going after Teddy.  I have to say, I really feel bad for Teddy but he is really taking one for the team today.  Today is the first day of school holidays and Connor is overwhelmed by the change of leaving Kindergarden, not being in school, having Christmas coming, knowing she's going into Year One and it's tearing her off her rocker.  Every time Teddy  brushes past her she falls apart in hysterics sobbing about how he's done it on purpose and how he's always hitting and hurting her.

It's all nonsense.  Teddy has never teed off and hit her and I give him full credit for it because she really has earned it today.  Connor has to learn the difference between small infractions and large, huge problems.  To her, they are all they same.  I had a psychologist tell me just yesterday how lucky we are to know this about Connor now - so we have time to teach her all of this before it gets rough.  I shudder when I think that because NOW is pretty rough.  Her sobbing and hysteria is so draining.

I just had a long talk with Teddy to calm him down as he's finally cracked and crying.  He's 9 and he can't figure out why his sister hates him  so much...and then loves him so much.  I said, "I'm an adult and I know why...and it still hurts.  There's no way in this world you should understand.  The truth is Teddy, Autism, no matter how severe or mild, simply sucks"

If you know someone with an Autistic person in your life, please, don't tell them it'll get better...just hold their hand and tell them it's ok to be tired and they are not a bad person for wishing things were different.  Sometimes even 5 minutes of knowing you're not a bad person can make all the difference in the world.

Now I get to go and spend some time with Connor...who has already forgotten what happened...and try to teach her how she's supposed to act and try to get her brother to still try and love her.  He does, he just doesn't know it right now.

I'm Not a People Person.

Not that this is a surprise to anyone.  I mean seriously, when have I ever been sociable Sally?     ...but I'm slowly realizing that I'm becoming more like Ted and truly hating my fellow man.  Nothing and I mean nothing, brings out that feeling like holiday time.  It's not a cliche and I'm not jumping on any bandwagon, I'm seriously noticing what a bunch of twits there are around the world and for some reason, they all shop at Westfield in Hornsby.

From asses who have the split the difference between the lines when entering the parking lot so we all have to wait for them to pick a line to people who live in terror of reaching wind blowing speeds of 5 mph.  Seriously, if the car scares you that much, take the train. 

I think people just take leave of their senses this time of the year.  No, you can't leave your cart in the middle of the aisle and wander off to look for God-knows what.  Especially now because there are more of us trying to past you and get done before we snap and kill someone.   Don't do it.  I don't even care which side of the aisle anymore...just PICK ONE!  And yes, if you don't, I WILL move your cart out the way.  I DON'T NEED your permission.  Wanna start with me?  I argue with a 9, 5 and 4-year old every.stinking.day.  Trust me, you don't have a prayer.

Don't argue with the kid at the checkout that the stores have it cheaper.  He doesn't care.  I don't care.  None of us care.  Take it to customer service.  They dont' care either but at least they'll pretend.  Cashiers, I'm sure you're nice but spare me your life story.  I don't mean the people you see every week and develop a rapor with...I mean the cashier you've never seen before in your life who carries on about how her manager has messed with her schedule and she HAS to be off to go see her boyfriend's show.  I promise you, I don't care.  I'm sure your manager doesn't care either because, honestly, drummer's girlfriends trying to sneak out of work early aren't exactly uncommon.  Hell, MY MOTHER knew people who did that.  Seriously, if you're on par with my mom...sorry...you just ain't counter culture.

All of this is of course going on with loud and fairly lame Christmas music in the background.  So Ho, Ho, Ho and leave me alone.

Unless of course you're Tessi.  Tessi who had to dress like a rainbow fairy and even while she was an obnoxious 4-year old, she was still cute and she stopped total strangers to twirl her rainbow skirt for.  And I have to give the strangers credit.  Not one threw her a look...everyone commented on how well her skirt twirled and how beautiful she looked.  Merry Christmas Tessi.  You make a beautiful fairy.

I Wonder What a Good Mother Would Do?

Teddy and Connor are in the kitchen fighting while they make sandwiches and packing lunches.  This is fine.  At least the lunches are being made.  However, I just overheard Teddy yelling at Connor apparently about some sandwiches that fell and are now on the floor.  No one bothered to pick them up and it seems that Sasha has either eaten them or simply licked the jam off.

Now they are arguing about whether or not new sandwiches even need to be made...let alone who is going to do them.  As my stomach is sitting here churning with nausea at the thought of Connor eating a dog-licked jam sandwich a part of me wonders - well, should I let them settle it or should I step in?

See it's crap like this that gets mothers into trouble.  If I step in too much then I'm the dreaded "helicopter" parent.  If I stand back too much I'm neglecting them.  Also, if I step in too much fighting with Connor my head spins and I trip over myself  getting the pretty yellow pills and a cold compress for the heartbeat over my eye.

Sigh...so either way I'm sunk. 

Wait a minute!  Teddy has come in to ask about what else to put in the lunch and SHOCK he threw out the sandwiches!!!!  He even gave me an odd look when I asked!  As if it was obvious that one throws out sandwiches that the dog has licked!!!  You have no idea how impressive this is.  This comes from a boy that for entertainment follows the dog and cat around in hopes that one of them will sneeze on him.  One of his Christmas presents is a snot making kit.  Seriously...this is big. 

So apparently somewhere, somehow at some point in time I managed to convey to Teddy that there is a level of grossness too high.  Dare I say it...is this my June Cleaver moment??!!  Is this the moment I've been waiting for that allows me to think that perhaps, I'm not the Joan Crawford of mothers?  I think I'm dizzy now.

Ahhh, they're fighting again and I can head the dog sneezing on Teddy.  Life is back to normal.  Whew.  Don't think I could have handled all that positive thought.

The Great Quest

In searching for a toy car that goes with a specific toy car carrier so I can give the damn thing away I have just found the following:
1.The poker table top that Ted and I have been searching months for
2.A box of baby toys that I had saved for reasons that can no longer be remembered
3. A lamp and lampshade with an American plug
4. A Minnesota Vikings bowling ball
5. 435 empty boxes - Saved obviously for when diligently put anything away
6. A box of my brother-in-laws books.  They are going to the trash TODAY

Suspiciously absent...my marbles.  Sadly, I think they are long gone.