Time for Another Parenting Award

Connor is still breathing. Yep, that's it. I get an award for allowing her to continue to breathe. Not that imppressive you mutter? Well, obviously you either have no children or you simply have not met Connor. Regardless, the fact that this child breathes is a true marvel and when other parents find out I will be lauded as the Second Coming of Greatness...or something like that.

I went to bed early (shock, I know) but this time I went because I'm sick. Ted had an important corporate basketball game so I put the kids to bed and while under the influence of cold medicine that was enough of a feat that I simply went to bed. At some point in the middle of the night Connor barged in my room and wanted to know if it was time to get up. I couldn't even turn over to check the time, I just croaked, "No! Go back to bed!" I think I threw in a "damnit" but I'm not sure. It was really good cold medicine. She stormed back out, muttering how much she loved me...or hate me, I'm not sure. Anyway, about 5:30 - I know this because this time when I opened my eyes, I was facing the clock, it began. "I WANT MY BREAKFAST! WHERE IS MY BREAKFAST! MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY" Lather, rinse, repeat.

I dragged myself out of bed and out my room and kicked in her door. "WHAT are you DOING?" I shouted in a hoarse whisper, didn't want to wake Tessi. Connor starts crying and telling me her tummy is rumbling and wants her breakfast. Of course Tessi bolts up. I suggested that she lay back down and I will get her breakfast at a more civilized hour. Of course I phrased this in a most unpleasant, very non-June Cleaver-like manner. I'm sure there were some threats of bodily harm and permanent removal of Barbie dolls and burning of dress-ups. Again, I'm not really sure as the cold medicine was helping me to see the Grateful Dead dancing bears floating on the ceiling. No matter, when I left, Connor was still sobbing and I was passed out again in a few minutes.

At 6:15 I dragged myself out of bed, opened the girls room and said, "Alright you can get up now" Then I went and released the hound and let her outside. Hmmm, no girls. Odd. Got Sasha back inside and now Tessi was crawling out, literally. She likes to pretend to be a baby pussy cat first in the morning. Don't ask. We've decided to think it's cute. Still no Connor. I went into the kitchen to brew my first cup of courage and then Madame pops out. She had fallen asleep. Grrr. What does she want for breakfast? "I want nothing. I'm not hungry," she cries at me. Offended that I was annoyed at her.

She's breathing Ladies and Gentlemen. Still alive. I'm still waiting another 15 minutes before I do her hair because I'm still concerned that I might strangle her with the hair bow.

The other day a friend asked how I was doing and I responded, "I'm a SAHM with 3 kids and a dog" Her response? A very sad, "Ohhhh" Yeah. That's how I am. Just mail my award to me, I'm too tired to make it to the ceremony.

Shakespere was Wrong...

Don't kill all the lawyers, get the weathermen, forecasters, meteorologists or whatever they want to be called now. How the Hell does anyone with an IQ over 80 look at a computer weather prediction program and get high of 27 and windy (which is the mid 80's) and end up with 17 ( mid 60's) and rainy?
I sent two children to school in summer uniforms today and hung out 3 loads of laundry. Thank you twits, I hope you choke on my wet laundry. When I spend an hour tonight listening to Connor sob at me about how cold she was today I will be thinking of you.

A Wii Game Not for the Masses

I just read an article about a Wii game called, "House of the Dead -Overkill" Mainly I skip info about games like this because there isn't a chance in Hell it'll be played on my Wii anyway. But this was on the Sydney Morning Herald and I thought I'd just glance at it. Apparently a parent bought the game, with it's MA+ warning and was shocked that it was really profane and inappropriate for his teenager who normally is ok with this stuff. So I guess it should have come with an extra label, "No, this one is REALLY MA+, we're serious!"

I understand being caught unaware if you're not into gaming and you didn't expect to see blood and gore on a Strawberry Shortcake game but come on. Give me a break. This game comes with a damn corpse on the cover. What did this guy think the game was going to be, Monopoly? Use your head. Don't pull the, "But the rating system didn't warn me, I've played other games with that warning and it was ok" It's a generic label meant to loosely inform, it can not, tell you what you need to know in order to make a correct decision for your family. It's people like you, the whiners about labels that force us ALL to have to go the extra mile to get things. We get labels, warnings, games behind special counters that you have to have permission to buy. If YOU had looked into it first and YOU knew what you were buying then the rest of us wouldn't have to go through so much hassle.

Parents, we are NOT on the same side as our children. You do NOT need to be their friend. They have enough friends and so do you. I consider it a badge of HONOR that my son is pissed at me right now because I will not let him take his "Rise of Nations game online"; he can only play it on the computer and not hook up with his friends until I can determine how safe the online community is for him. In fact he and his mates are all walking around, muttering about "Ted's damn mother" - I smile with pride.

Do some research. There is a miracle invention called the Internet. Really, it's kind of spiffy. Google the name of the game BEFORE you buy it and see what reviews are of it. For Christ's sake, you can look at screen shots of the games online and SEE if your precious angel can see images of bodies climbing in and out of tombs before you buy the game and then return it in a huff.

Quick! A chance to Blog!

I'm here! At the computer, nothing else to do, nowhere to go just yet and all alone. A perfect chance for me to sit and share my reflections of life with the masses. Obviously, now would be a good time to have some reflections. Perhaps even just a small musing? Apparently not.

Sigh...writer's block and nothing to say. Can any of us stand another rant about Teddy? That kid is totally off his tree by the way, he's not going to be happy until I'm completely nuts too. Connor? She's a 5 year old female, 'nuff said. Tessi? Yeah, she's still Tessi. Last night we had friends over and at the end of the evening she stood in the doorway and yelled outside, "You need to leave NOW!" Yep, that's my girl.

Today I'm off to enjoy some sans kinder time. I'm going to a ceramics class. Apparently one can be a talentless fop and still be taught to do something creative with paint. I can sew, scrapbook, quilt a bit and other crafts of that ilk but paint? Not so much. The woman running the class assurred me that she "makes the talentless talented" but we'll see. If nothing else I'll be out of the house and will not have to be concerned with the latest happenings of Miley Cyrus - whom Connor has just figured out is Hannah Montana. Nor will I have to hear one.more.stinking.word about "Rise of Nations", which apparently Teddy wants more than the ability to breathe.

Wish me luck! Let's hope it doesn't look too much like Picasso's stuff.

All Princess All the Time

>Wow. Disney on Ice: Princess Wishes. Do I really have to explain this one? Didn't think so. The Disney Machine is a forced to be reckoned with, that's for sure. These people are masters, absolute masters at getting people to part with their money.

My friend Penny and I took our girls to see the Princess show and the girls were in their element. The girls are both dressed as Belle although Connor refused to wear the crenalin underneath so the dress screams of “barmaid” to me, but she was happy. We participated in the face painting and nail polish as they were the only free things there. I'm still in awe of what Australians are willing to pay this stuff. This stuff is expensive in the States but here. Yikes!!!

The girls loved seeing Ariel, of course, who doesn't? No one liked seeing the dragon and Malificent from Sleeping Beauty but all was forgiven when Cinderella appeared. Mulan also did a performance wmade Connor happy as that's one of her favorites and isn't as popular as the Holy Trinity: Ariel, Belle and Cinderella.

I didn't get too many shots inside the theatre; too busy handing out popcorn. But back at the car Tinkerbelle and the other princesses heard that the mean mommies didn't stop at the incredibly overpriced merchandising stalls after the show and left bags of toys and lollies for the girls. All 3 loved getting the dolls and read along CD's but honestly, I think they were more thrilled with the lollies and chocolates. Take that Disney!

The princesses left a bag of kit kats for the mommies too...unfortunately no wine. Next year we're bringing a flask.