Candy, Enchiladas and Canadians

I took the kids grocery shopping this morning because Ted has now caught Tessi's stomach virus. Figured it would be less painful to drag 3 kids through Woolworth's - the grocery store, not the 5 & Dime store we grew up with in the States - than to drag them off of a sick Ted. Not too bad, we got through fairly unscathed, although one issue was my fault. I needed jelly and that made me turn down the candy isle. Connor, in her neverending quest to be subtle, asks, "What's that?" I cleverly reply, "Candy, and you know that perfectly well and no, you aren't getting any" This leads to the 5 stages of grief:
Denial: "NO Mommy, You say yes!."
Anger: "Why No? I don't love you!!"
Bargaining: "I'll share with my sister...not Teddy, cause he's a boy"
Depression: "I'm very sad right now"
Acceptance: "Hmph!
Fortunately Connor is able to do all of this while walking so I just let her go. This entertains her through 2 more isles. But I do accept that the moment I realized that we were in the candy isle there was going to be a fight and that fight was my fault.
I don't take the kids shopping that often for obvious reasons. When we do go, it's a little humorous though because I can see people taking a a double-take when they hear me speak and realize that we aren't from here. That was very evident today when I realized that I couldn't buy enchilada mix here. I have used up the last of the packets of mix that I brought with us and I thought I could buy more and like the taco seasoning, just pay a ridiculous price. Nope. Don't have it. As I stood there grumbling out loud a passerby heard me and said, "Oh you're Canadian?" Everyone here asks if you're Canadian first, because apparently many Canadians get really mad about being mislabeled an American. As soon as I learned that pearl I started responding, "No, I can pronounce my O's, thank you" I am WAITING for the first Canadian to get pissed about that one...
So now I'm pushing the cart down the isle, Connor still grieving, dragging the other two along only now...I've got the Canadian National Anthem stuck in my mind. It's not fair, I wasn't even supposed to be there today. Get better Ted!

Mommy, My Sister Throwed Up

Sigh....not the 6am wake up call I need. Woke up Wed. morning to Connor bellowing that as Tessi was throwing up and crying in bed. Have learned though that I can get from a sound sleep , out my room, into the girls room and pick up a retching child in 2.4 seconds. Handy skill. Poor Tessi caught some death stomach bug and spent the day on the couch. Connor was very cute in offering to bring tissues to Tessi after I moved her to the couch. However Connor became less than charitable when she learned that Tessi being sick meant we all had to skip Lifestart Playgroup. She didn't really buy the whole fever and vomiting thing meaning that we weren't allowed to go.
Sigh...I know Connor has a hard time understanding and remembering concepts like this but it really does get frustrating to have to keep repeating over and over that we're not going. Then of course I get the, "You're being rude Mommy!" thrown at me and the new twist - she cocks out her hip, puts her hand on it and shouts, "I don't care for yoooouuuuuu!" That earns her a trip to the hallway by herself for a few minutes, mainly to keep her out of my reach so I don't throttle the Hell out of her. A dear friend of mine once said that female and 4 just don't go together. I see now that she was right. Teddy used to get upset when I yelled and told him no, but he'd listen. Connor just glares right back at me.
Sigh...I really like it better when Tessi is better. That way she and Connor can target each other and leave me alone. Fortunately for me by dinner time Tessi had stopped throwing up and was her old self again. Just in time for them to discover that Connor has 2 My Little Pony toys and Tessi only has 1. They've been fighting ever since. Thank God for preschool.

For Those About to Die We Salute You

Education Week Concert. Whoooo boy. I stroll up to school with my girls. It's a very, very good thing sometimes living on the same street as the school. We got to have lunch with Teddy before the concert and his best friend was upset because his parents weren't there and he didn't want to eat alone. Of couse I suggested that he sit with us. This led to 4 or 5 other 7/8 year olds sitting with us. You could see the vortex swirling above their heads sucking the brain cells out of their skulls. Glad also that I didn't pack a lunch for myself because after 2 minutes with the boys I couldn't stand the thought of food. Hmmmm, maybe I should start eating lunch up with the boys more often.

After getting Teddy into his costume the girls and I trudged up to the great hall and looked for our seats. The principal took care of all seating arangements and when I first looked at our tickets I saw that our row was the first one as we walked into the hall. Then I saw that the numbers were 1, 2 and 3 and I thought, 'Oh Cool going Jan! You know I need a quick escape with the girls and helped me out!" But then I saw that the row BEGAN against the wall so I had to drag the 3 of us over 8 or 10 laps and then we were trapped against the wall like rats. Thanks Jan.

A 2 hour concert of 200 kids I don't know at all, about 50 kids I know somewhat, 20 I know very well and one I love to pieces. So we sat for it. Connor and Tessi were as good as could be hoped for. They just don't handle these sort of events well. I had a ton of food as bribes and that got us through the worst of if but in the end it was 2 hours and they were confined. 'Nuff said. But I must say, it was a cute show. I love the look of accomplishment on these kids faces, Hell, I even love the cool arrogance of the Year 6's. Could have done without the principal lecture on not hovering over our kids too much. Not sure where that came from or why we all had to hear about problems she's having a with a few parents.

But I did think the show was fun. Connor and Tessi loved "Under the Sea" as all good princess worshippers do. My favorite obviously was "I've Got No Strings" by 1/2V, Teddy's class. My friend took this close up picture of Teddy off to the side. He's mad about how his face looks in paint, but I love it. I am so grateful to Mrs. Veldon for finding a way to keep him in the dance performance. She is a lovely woman and a very good teacher. I hope she lets me keep the sign.

Back to Normal

It's Monday and all 3 kids are back at school. I did my best not to shout "FREEDOM" as Teddy's school bell rang. Now I'm slowly but surely trying to return to the normal chaos rather than the chaotic chaos. Amazing that there is such a distinction, but there is one. Anyone with kids knows exactly what I mean.

This week is Education Week at Teddy's school. There are 2 concert performances and some parent morning teas. I've really come to love these school events here in Australia. I don't know how to describe it but there is a different feeling here than back in Texas. Maybe because the school is so small, under 300 students. I'm not sure. But there is a small town community feeling to it. I must say, I really loved the Christmas program last year. Parents brought picnic lunches and bottles of wine to watch the show. I LOVE THAT. You could never, ever have that at a school in the states - particularly Texas. It's nice to see that at least here, we can all be adults and don't need some authority to watch over everything for us.

But this week there will be no wine, just family gathering in the great hall to watch our cherubs perform. Teddy won't get to dance this year, but he will sit on stage with an "Under Repair" sign. He's really happy about that. Not only will he be an obvious center of attention, he doesn't have to dance with a girl, a fate worse than death don't you know. My only concern is that I will be at the afternoon concert with the girls - which should make things interesting. As soon as Tessi realizes that people aren't there to see her she will kill herself rectifying that. It goes without saying that as soon as Connor realizes that people are paying attention to Tessi and not her, she also, will kill herself rectifying that.

Perhaps one parent in the audience will be drinking wine after all...and no...I won't share.

Letting Go

Teddy is getting better. He got his new spiffy cast, he's no longer on constant pain meds and he's been playing the playstation 2 again. He's bored to tears and is starting to be rude again. We're slowly going back to the normal chaos. Tonight he is at a Waratah's game (professional rugby for my American friends) with his father and some friends. I know he's safe. I know he's fine. He's with Ted for God's sake. Ted would kill anyone who got too close to Teddy. But for the last two weeks I have been hovering over him and flicking away anyone that got too close. It's been my job, from the moment I saw him sleeping after surgery and I took over for Ted, it's been my job to keep him safe and help him get better. I slept on the couch for 8 nights because my bedroom was too far away from his, in case he needed me. So now that I know he's out of arm's reach, out of my sight I am a wreck.

Friday I took him to school for a few minutes, just to drop some stuff off and he was so desperate to be around other kids that he just went running to talk to his friends and SWOOP! A herd of boys descended upon him to test the worthiness of his cast. I stood off to the side, screaming inside my head, "GET OFF OF HIM YOU LITTLE MONSTERS!" But instead I smiled warmly and cursed them from afar.

I'm not sure if it's the maternal instinct. I know that Ted loves Teddy just as much and he too spent a night on the couch for him. Father's care too, no mistake about it. I just feel this pain, deep inside when I'm not sure Teddy is going to be safe and it kills me. Maybe it's more about making me feel better then. If I keep him close and safe then I don't hurt, I don't feel bad. I hope that's not true, I'd hate to be that selfish. I don't want to turn him into some hothouse flower. I guess I need to learn how to back off a bit.

It's time to let go, time to let him be a boy again. But so help me God, if he breaks anything else not only will he get a pink cast, I will have "I love Barbie" tattooed on his forehead during surgery.

A hospital is a hospital is a hospital

Same stuff, different country. Nice to see that bureaucracy is the same everywhere. Took Teddy to hospital ( please take note of the dropping of the article - we are in Australia afterall) to get a x-ray and new cast. Get there only to learn that since we don't use the country's health care system we have to pay for everything up front. No problem, just next time let me know ahead of time so I don't have to drag my poor kid all through out the building trying to pay for things and get x-rays.
Finally get into see a dr - not the surgeon who did the procedure last week as he's on holidays - but a different guy. A guy who says, and I'm not kidding, "Cast looks well-taken care of, see you in 3 weeks" He gets up and starts to walk out and I say, "Excuse me? You're not going to examine the open wound and apply a proper cast?" "Nope, he looks fine. You can move your fingers around, right Mate?" Teddy obliges and I get the don't worry Mom look. Then I said, "Dr. Little told me last week that he couldn't go back to school until he had a proper cast" This guy says, "Ok, I'll ask someone in here" I hear, "the mom says Little wants another cast on this kid" Response, "OK, if SHE wants a cast then we'll get her a cast!" As If I get paid extra for us going through the trouble or something. I love how me asking questions is a burdon. Next time I will ask when did the Mongrels rule China - God help them if they don't know the answer.
Low and behold now because Teddy has a whiner (whinger here in OZ) for a mom he got a new cast and a proper examination. Shock of shocks the wound is a little irritated so it was good that a dr saw it. Not the same twit from before, this time the gal applying the cast managed to snag the dr that assisted on Teddy's surgery.
I know medical personnel work hard and deal with a lot of yutzes but really, I'm a pain in the ass because I remembered what the dr said? Spare me.
Teddy is fine but we couldn't get a waterproof or colored cast because it went beyond the elbow. Curses!!!!! I told him we'd paint it sparkly pink tomorrow. Teddy just glared at me. I get that a lot.

Things Not to do on a Playset

Last Monday my son Teddy fell off of our new playset and broke his arm badly. Amazingly enough, when you use a playset correctly you rarely get hurt. However, when you climb up onto the arm that holds the swing and then STAND ON IT, sometimes you fall. If you are a 7 year old boy it's pretty much a gimmie that you will fall and that you will get hurt.

At the first hospital my husband got to see the x-ray and it's never good when you say, "Ummm, where's the rest of his arm?" This got them a ride to next hospital. where he had surgery to re-attach the the elbow and insert rods and wires. For the medical geeks he has a supracondylar fracture of his right humerus with complete displacement of the fragments. For surgery he had an open reduction and k-wire to said fracture. Ooooh, spiffy sounding isn't it? Anyone else have the phrase "Snap, Crackle, Pop!" stuck in their mind right now?
I had to stay at home with our younger daughters and Ted had the car so the next morning after getting the girls into school I braved the Sydney public transportation system and took 2 trains out to the hospital. The website has the hospital as next to the train station but we have learned that Aussies have an amusing idea of"walking distance" I finally got through the Bataan Death March and made it there while carrying a Donkey Kong shopping bag with pirate slippers, Battleship, books & a Star Wars blanket...yeah, I'm the cover of Vogue. There I switched with Ted so he could go into work. Poor Teddy, he looked so pitiful sleeping after surgery. I think parents should be given special rose-colored glasses when looking at their sick or hurt child - I can't imagine too many images worse than that.

Interesting factoid about Aussie hospitals...parents are expected to dispense meds likeTylenol and Advil (known as panadol and nurofen here) Yep. I'm not kidding.The nurse handed me the syringes - no needles, just to shoot liquid into the mouth and walked out. Shocked, I went to ask when she would be giving him the meds and she looked at me like I asked her to come clean out my bathroom at home. For the rest of the time we were there I just pulled the dumb American card every chance I could. Wasn't hard, we've been here a year and I'm still shaking my head most days.
Teddy got out of the hospital Wed. This was fun. First, there is no wheelchair from the bed to the curb here. Again, I got the "Crazy Yank" look when I asked for it. So we navigate the maze that is the hospital and go outside and....no parking garage. So I have to call Ted for directions to parking deck as there is no sign for it. Great, then we walk 1000 kilometers (alright fine, maybe about 2 blocks, but it felt like a long time) and then as we walk up into garage I see large sign saying, "PAY HERE BEFORE LEAVING" Crud. Ted has left ticket on dashboard for me. So Teddy and I walk to car, get ticket and walk back to payment booth. When I tried to put the ticket in I learned that I had gotten the wrong damn ticket. Sigh...leave son on curb, run to car grab ticket, NOT on dashboard but on steering wheel and head back. Get in line, pull money out to pay, it's $12 and I only have $8. No credit cards. Swearing loudly, grab poor Teddy and walk back to hospital, find ATM, not wanting to need more money later on, get out $50 and walk back. Fine. We've made it. Put ticket in machine again and look up to see dollars taken. $5, 10 and 20. No $50. So I look at my money again, to make sure it's $50. It is. I look back up at sign to see if it really says 5, 10 and 20...it does. You know how you look up and down at things over and over hoping that one of the times something will change? Well that was me. Bobbing my head like that damn bird sitting on the glass of water. Oddly enough...nothing changed. So grabbed kid, found cafe and bought a bottle of soda for $3 and drink for son and finally had to change to leave. Things have to get better right?