Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I'm Not a People Person.

Not that this is a surprise to anyone.  I mean seriously, when have I ever been sociable Sally?     ...but I'm slowly realizing that I'm becoming more like Ted and truly hating my fellow man.  Nothing and I mean nothing, brings out that feeling like holiday time.  It's not a cliche and I'm not jumping on any bandwagon, I'm seriously noticing what a bunch of twits there are around the world and for some reason, they all shop at Westfield in Hornsby.

From asses who have the split the difference between the lines when entering the parking lot so we all have to wait for them to pick a line to people who live in terror of reaching wind blowing speeds of 5 mph.  Seriously, if the car scares you that much, take the train. 

I think people just take leave of their senses this time of the year.  No, you can't leave your cart in the middle of the aisle and wander off to look for God-knows what.  Especially now because there are more of us trying to past you and get done before we snap and kill someone.   Don't do it.  I don't even care which side of the aisle anymore...just PICK ONE!  And yes, if you don't, I WILL move your cart out the way.  I DON'T NEED your permission.  Wanna start with me?  I argue with a 9, 5 and 4-year old every.stinking.day.  Trust me, you don't have a prayer.

Don't argue with the kid at the checkout that the stores have it cheaper.  He doesn't care.  I don't care.  None of us care.  Take it to customer service.  They dont' care either but at least they'll pretend.  Cashiers, I'm sure you're nice but spare me your life story.  I don't mean the people you see every week and develop a rapor with...I mean the cashier you've never seen before in your life who carries on about how her manager has messed with her schedule and she HAS to be off to go see her boyfriend's show.  I promise you, I don't care.  I'm sure your manager doesn't care either because, honestly, drummer's girlfriends trying to sneak out of work early aren't exactly uncommon.  Hell, MY MOTHER knew people who did that.  Seriously, if you're on par with my mom...sorry...you just ain't counter culture.

All of this is of course going on with loud and fairly lame Christmas music in the background.  So Ho, Ho, Ho and leave me alone.

Unless of course you're Tessi.  Tessi who had to dress like a rainbow fairy and even while she was an obnoxious 4-year old, she was still cute and she stopped total strangers to twirl her rainbow skirt for.  And I have to give the strangers credit.  Not one threw her a look...everyone commented on how well her skirt twirled and how beautiful she looked.  Merry Christmas Tessi.  You make a beautiful fairy.

No comments: