Rejecting Realities

I have canteen duty today and sometimes I like to wear a funny t-shirt.  Something that amuses me and usually makes people stare at me a bit.  This is getting harder and harder to do as 1) I've already worn my cool ones and haven't bought  more and 2) it's harder and harder to raid Ted's closet 4 out of 5 shirts are Atlassian ones with jokes that only Atlassian employees get.

I found this one this morning, "I reject your reality and substitute my own"  A classic Mythbusters one.  As I was debating it's merits I realized that it was more than a funny saying, it's my damn job description.  That's the stage I've reached with the boy, formerly known as my son.  I'll type his name again when I can stand to see it or his face without gritting my teeth.

Yesterday, nope still too pissed to type it all, let's just say he did something so stupid that it's almost impressive.  The impressive part lies in his reasoning for doing it and his thoughts for being sure he'd get away with it.  Mainly that he forgot that I get email conformations when he buys games and he was sure he could convince me that he actually bought it months ago with his dad's approval.

See his reality now is that he can lie and get away with it.  He doesn't like something and he will lie.  He lies when it makes more sense to tell the truth.  It's bizarre to watch him spin his web of deception and think that another human being will believe him.  He really becomes quite enraged when I am so discourteous as to not only point out the lie but then have the gall to call him a liar. 

Mainly because the more he says it the more it becomes real.  His reality.  My job is to reject it.  And oh I am.  I told him yesterday that we both knew I could not force him to stop lying.  It's silly to even suggest that I can.  What I can do is make his life a living HELL when he is caught.  He tried to be cool and come back with, "My life already is Hell"  Funny, that one is.  That one almost made me smile.  He really believes that this is the worst part.  I'm not going to do what that parent in North Carolina did and shoot his computer...but I do plan on making him wish for it.  At least then it will be over.

So from now on when someone asks what I do as a Stay at Home Mom I will answer with an official, t-shirt sanctioned job description.  I reject your reality and substitute my own. 

I need to get it printed on different colors though....constant black might be intimidating.