Not My Mother's Motherhood

The past few days I've been re-listening to Wil Wheaton's book, "Just a Geek" and it's been helping me process a few things going through my head.  Wil seems to have had an epiphany about Life, how he handles things and what is important to him. While I don't enjoy hearing about his pain, I do enjoy knowing that I am not the only one struggling with understanding what is really important and how to achieve it.  Below are some things that I'm coming to terms with this week.

1. I love Star Trek.  I'll say it out loud.  I don't give a damn what you people label me.

2. Parenthood is difficult; doesn't matter if you are the biological parents or if you struggled with infertility and      should just be happy to have children.  Some days, man...NO ONE enjoys being a parent. Anyone who says," they just love every moment with their kids and each day is a joy" is either a delusional liar or psychotic.  Seriously.  Do NOT turn your back on these people.  You will most likely end up with McDonald's toy wedged somewhere in between the L4 and L5 vertabrae.

3.  I handle motherhood different from just about every single mother I know. I can not think of a single woman in Australia or the US that handles things the way I do.  I have friends who agree with some of my choices, there isn't anyone who 100% gets me.  My close friends are the ones who decide to overlook the weird stuff they don't understand.  There are less than a handful of them.

4.  This is the important part.  I'm choosing to decide that doesn't mean I'm a bad mother anymore.

My house is usually a mess.  I can usually think of 5 or 6 different excuses why it's a mess and 3 of them are my kids.  It's just not possible for me to keep up with the crap they leave behind.  However the 2 or 3 remaining excuses have to lie with me.  I don't give a damn enough to keep it clean and tidy.  Sure, I'm the first to do a mad dash when people are coming over but no....I don't come home after drop off and while the way the hours scrubbing with toothbrushes.  In fact, when I read about some things people spend time cleaning my first reaction is usually, "Oh, you're supposed to clean that?"

Not to say that I'm on my ass eating bon bons.  I'm an errand runner.  I'm here, there, everywhere.  A live action Savoir-Faire.....ooooh, just totally dated myself self with that reference. But I'm running around a lot.  When I'm home, I like to be on the computer.  Yes, there is a fair amount of mucking about but I'm constantly looking for information.  Information about Dyslexia, Autism, Xbox, Xbox and teenagers, why teenagers are stupid, why are 12 year olds not teenagers yet but still acting like teenagers, how do I not kill teenagers, how do I bury my husband's body in a yard filled with rocks....you get my meaning.

Information.  I need to find out things.  I'm always looking at something. In my desire to find out things well, other things slip by the way side.  I suppose I could use the internet to find new and interesting recipes to try but truthfully, I don't give a damn about cooking either.  Actually, if I'm honest, it's not that I don't give a damn, it's that I hate cooking.  I get angry every day around 4 or so because that's when I absolutely have to start thinking about what's for dinner. So spending time looking up new and interesting ways to cook sounds like masochism to me. I'd much rather try and find out when the Mongrels ruled China.  And then quote Bill and Ted all day.  That amuses me.  Not sure why, but it does.

When not doing that I like corny stuff to do like sewing, hair bow making and woodworking.  Nothing original but I'm happy when I'm doing it.  When I stop doing that I get sad and depressed.  So I'm trying to do more of that.

Which is what brings me to my point.  Doing those things instead of the good mommy stuff does not make me a bad mother.  I'm just different.  Just because I don't gasp in horror at toast crumbs on the table several hours later and dirty dishes in the sink doesn't mean I don't care about my family.  Oh I care.  The proof of that is that they are all still alive and made it to school this morning.  Two of them hand delivered by moi.

Everyone was clean, fed and dressed in uniforms, had packed lunches and I've made plans for 2 of them to play with friends after school.  I would have made plans for Teddy....excuse me, Ted....however I am no longer allowed to organize  his social calendar.  But since I've spent hours on the internet I know how to access his email, KIK, Instagram and other accounts on my phone so I'm still in the loop.  HA!  So top that clean counter tops, freshly baked nutritious dinner making, behind the fridge cleaning moms, how many of YOU can set up a VPN login, access Xbox and Steam and monitor game play usage in real time via remote?

Yea, I thought so.  Sit back down with your freshly pressed shirts and mopped floors.

This may not be how my mother, your mother or even you handle motherhood but it's all I got.  And I'm done with feeling bad about it.

So party on Dude and please....be excellent to each other.