Yep ME!!!!!!!!! Whooo Hooooo!!! I don't even know who to thank first for this honor! What was it that finally tipped me over my compete tors you ask? Well I manage to get not 1, not 2 but ALL 3 children sobbing in the car on the way to McDonald's to buy them ice cream! I even threatened that no crying child would receive ice cream and that STILL wasn't enough to get them to stop! Oh yes, Ladies and Gentlemen....I am that good. Not many people can make children cry while driving them to get ice cream. All you moms out there who whine about having your children hate you. Please, step back. You are mere pretenders to the throne.
As you can guess, I am in a daze right now. Honestly, I thought I was doing a nice thing. How was I supposed to know that Tessi (who has been sick at home for 2 days with a fever) would throw a Mega Block Cinderella swan at Connor and split her lip open and then fall to the ground sobbing because Connor didn't say, "That's ok" when she said sorry? How was I supposed to know that Tessi would get made at Teddy for teasing me in the car by saying I was mean and start to sob? Then again maybe I should have known that Teddy would lean over to Connor and whisper, "You're weird" and then look SHOCKED when she started to cry. However NO ONE could have planned that we would see Delaney (Connor's BFF) and Kassie walking down the street and when I rolled down the window to see if they needed a lift (it's pouring rain) that Connor would scream out the window, "We're going to McDonald's because my sister hit me in the lip and it's bleeding and my brother called me weird" and that of course made Teddy burst into tears because Connor just told all of Normanhurst what happened.
As I'm trying to plan how best to drive the car into the medium at top speed to cut down on the crying noise I made the mistake of pointing out to Teddy that he did, in fact, call his sister weird. As you would guess that made him cry more. I just pulled the car over and waited for the sobbing to cease. In the end we did get ice cream....manly because I wanted it and because I really didn't want to go home yet.
Connor has just informed me that she is now happy about the swan flinging incident because now her tooth is loose and the tooth fairy will be coming soon. It's not but hey, if it stops some crying I have no problem perpetuating the lie. Now If I can just Ted that all the pain will go away as soon as I get a spa vacation somewhere then yes, Life will be complete.
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