Mid-Life Crisis

Since the beginning of July our family has been going through some horrific turmoil.  My husband is enduring one of the most painful moments of his life at work and to say our future is murky is a bit of an understatement. Life is rough everywhere I know but in our little corner of the world it's been very difficult to look on the bright side of life. Included in that is this bloody awful war that's been going on about silly parking signs recently put up at school and between dealing with politicians, rabid hunting parking rangers,  a school committee filled with self-righteous pompous blowhards and trying to sew my 3 kids school concert consumes plus organize all the costumes for Tessi's entire  class, let's just say people are learning to move out of my way when I walk by.  My "happy face" isn't that happy on good days so now I bet I'd scare the Hell out of my mother if she were still alive.

There isn't that much to be happy about right now and I can tell you that is more draining that it looks. So after a lifetime of "Do the RightThing" and "Wait  Until Tomorrow When Things Will be Better" I said to hell with it all and went out and bought an iPad. Sure in 2 months we will have no way to pay our mortgage and it's possible we'll be on a plane back to the US but screw it...I have my cool toy.

Yes, that reads bad, I know that. Hear me out, I think this may be my mid-life crisis. I'm 42 and a majority of my life I've either been broke or just able to pay our bills. After years of raising kids I've found myself out of the job market and while I am clever I can't get a real job without serious retraining. So there is a sense of helplessness that I can't even describe accurately.  I needed to have some control in my life. Hence the iPad. I've saved up over a year for it and it's awesome. I am a selfish prat for wasting the money on it and I don't care. I don't feel guilty and I'm having a blast. 

I'm acting like a selfish teenager buying toys and picking fights with weakminded opponents. What I'm not doing is having an affair, betting the mortgage on the ponies or shaving my head and moving to Tibet. So all on all, I'm going to call that a win for me. 

One could argue that I bought the iPad to help with Tessi's dyslexia or increase the kids learning moments with the educational apps. It's total nonsense, but one could argue it. At least I'm honest and I admit it's all about me, that has to count for something. And if it doesn't, eh, I'll worry about that later. In the mean time I'm watching Netflix a shhhhh, don't ask how, reading books, posting on Facebook and hopefully blogging more; all on my new iPad.