Thursday, May 31, 2012

Single Parenting

My husband flew to San Fransisco yesterday and will be gone for a few days.  His company Atlassian, is having their annual Summit conference/meeting/group meet/corporate kegger, I'm not sure what it's all about.   I do know they announce all the cool stuff they are working on and geeks around the world oooh and awe.  In a few weeks he's going to fly back to San Fransisco and attend Google's conference/meeting/group/corporate kegger and do the same thing.  Only more geeks and more ooohing and aweing.

I'm happy for him, going to Summit is a big deal and preparing for it is a major part of his job.  Plus the added bonus of getting a personal invitation and free pass to attend Google's play date is a major coup for him.  It's wonderful that he's working with incredible people in a strong company with a strong future. 

But damn it!  It really is a pain in my butt when he goes away.  Now instead of seeing the kids for an hour at night and spending lots of time with them on the weekend it's me.  Every single bloody moment we're home.  Now, before you start with the, "Sheesh, quite whining, I LOVE my kids and cherish every moment with them" just don't.  I really am not even listening anymore.  I don't trust ANYONE who can say with a straight face, "I don't mind listening the same story about a bit on iCarly 14 times in 20 minutes" and "It doesn't bother me at all to listen to them voice their dismay about what's for dinner" and "Really, is doing 4 loads of laundry a day, every day all that bad?"  It's not normal, ok.  Even when I had a paying job I got 2 fifteen minutes breaks and an hour lunch break every day.  It's expected to need a breather from work....vacations/ holidays anyone???!!!  Human being are simply not meant to do one thing all day, every day and not flip out a bit.  It's the curse of having a brain...it doesn't like monotony.  Also, I have insanely high standards of personal space.  I always have, I can't stand close talkers and when I have people crawl all over me my skin starts it itch.  By the end of the day I do NOT want any one sitting on me, fighting with their sisters and smacking into me and DO NOT STEP ON MY FEET.  I will hurt you.

So here I am and my breaks are when the kids are in school.  6 hours of freedom to do what I what, when I want.  So how did I spend today's breather?  First hour at school.  AWESOME!  I had to schedule a meeting with Tessi's extra reading teacher today as it's the only day she's in and I really wanted to make sure she was on board with the dyslexia stuff and see what we need to be doing.  Then I met with the new school counselor.  I don't want to post a lot now about that meeting as nothing is for sure but let's just say we had an excellent conversation about Cyber bullying and what parents can do about it.  More accurately, what I may have a chance to do about it.  Will fill you in later.

Next on my whirlwind Sans Children Tour?  Westfield shops.  I hit 2 stores looking for warm quilts because I found out this morning that my darling son-WHO I SHOWED HIS SISTER'S CHARRED SHEET FROM USING THE ELECTRIC BLANKET - forgot and left his on all night.  Claimed he wasn't warm enough.  So I tried to find him a good heavy quilt so I can ditch the electric blanket.  Sadly, so is everyone else in the Hornsby Shire and the only ones left were the lovely $200 ones.  Again, before you do-gooders ask, "Can you really put a price on your child's safety?"  Yes, I can.  $200 for a quilt is too damn much.  Especially the week before one kids birthday and we're STILL recovering from Teddy's sudden growth spurt and needing new school shoes, sneakers, jumper (sweatshirt) and pants.  Leave me alone, I'm trying here.

The bit of shopping a bust I head on over to next part of my fun-filled morning.  Grocery shopping!  Hot8diggedy damn!  No, actually I'm serious about that one.  Anyone with kids will know my next statement is true: After you have shopped with your children, especially after school and they are at their BEST, you will kill whomever you have to not to do it again.  You can always spot the moms who have forgotten this rule.  They are standing at the counter waiting to pay, voice horse from screaming, children either sullen or still fighting but ALL out of arm's reach and she has the LOOK on her face.  The mom look that says, "Oh yeah, shopping with kids is the 9th Circle of Hell.  I forgot that.  My bad." The resolution in her eyes not to make that mistake again is unmistakable.  So yeah, I did my shopping during the day.

The one saving grace was Dan Murphy's.  The holy land of liquor stores.  Huge, lots of selection and right between the grocery store and the parking deck.  I really couldn't ask anything more.

Now that I'm home I will spend 1 precious hour doing what I WANT! - ie play on the computer and then some chores and back to pick up the minions.  Then we will begin our afternoon performance of "Fight and Argue Until Mommy's Head Explodes"  I used to think they did many shows a day of that particular piece but I've come to learn that it's one long act with the occasional intermission.  I don't know if it has the staying power of Cats but I suspect it will be a top-billed show for quite a few years. The reviews on it are mixed but you know what rat-bastards critics can be.  How can you judge art?

Tomorrow is my last chance at freedom as then we have the weekend and it will be All Mommy, All the Time.  What's making me a little nervous is that Connor was complaining that her head hurt today....first symptom of nasty virus that's going around.  Which with my luck means she'll be home tomorrow. Since Connor is afraid to be alone in her room if she's home sick she will be attached to my hip.  That means a 3-day weekend of Up Mummy's Bum.  I've changed my mind...that is art I'm willing to judge.

So watch the news tomorrow night people, you may be in for a rare treat, "And the crazy American, before turning the gun on herself....."

Just write on my tombstone, "Here lies Cecelia, she would have made it if her husband didn't have to go to a corporate kegger play date.  Hope he chokes on the booth weasel trinkets!"