Tuesday, May 1, 2012

So Last Night Was Interesting

My Monday afternoons are chaotic. I don't say busy because technically we only have 2 activities and I do get to come after school before we head out so I do have time to organize things.

Yesterday started no different and at 4:40 the girls and I headed out for Piano and Basketball. Now that gets tricky because piano is at 5 and basketball is either 5:00 or 5:15. They are only 2 minutes away from each other so I've been juggling. I either have a pissed off Tessi sitting in car with me during Connors lesson or I'm racing to get Tessi to game but I always have a pissed off Connor sitting with me during Tessi's game. Thea beat part about that is the basketball court is so loud I can hardly hear Connor whining. Sadly though, it's so loud that I can feel my ear drums liquefying.

So we're driving along and I make the same right hand turn I make 4 times a day when suddenly there is this god Awful FWAPOW!!!!!! sound coming from (I think) the engine of the car and then this strangling, dying, robotic cat scheme echoing sound starts belching from the car.

Immediately I figure this can't be good so I try to pull off the road so I can safely stop-many thanks to my fellow drivers decided to teach me a lesson and try not to let me over. Sadly for them I learned to drive on the New Jersey Turnpike and I drive an SUV. Suck it boys, Mamas changing lanes.

Of course what made this even more fun was Connor and Tessi's reaction to all of this. Obviously using Kenny G's circular breathing technique together they launched into a verbal tirade.
Girls: MOMMWHATDTHATNOISE? DIDYOUHEARTHAT? WHATISHPPENINGDONTYOUTHINKYOUSHOULDSTOPDIDYOUCRASH? I REMBERWHENDADYCRASHEDTHEBKUECAR! ITWASALONGTIMESGOYOUWERENTINTHECARDIDHETELLYOU? WHATDIDWEHITWASITALIVEOHNODIDYOUKILLNATURE???!!

Obviously I am in tune with my girls and I know the best way to handle them in a difficult situation.

Me: JESUSCHRISTWHATWASTHAT? CHRISTDIDIDROPTHETRABSMUSSIONLEYMEOVERYIUBASTARDS!!WILLYOUTWOSHUTTHEHELLUPIDONTKNOWWHATIHIT! HOWCANIKNOWWHATIIHITITSUNDERTHECARAMIUNDERTHEDNCAR?

As you can see we were having a reasonable conversation considering the situation.

I get the car pulled over and stop and start looking around the car. This of course happens after I tell the girls if they get out to help me I will kill them dead. Looking under the front of the car I see a cooler (esky for my Aussie friends) wedged under the engine. It's one of those soft aided ones with a hard plastic bucket interior. I'm sure it worked quite well when it wasn't under my car.

Here's where the interesting part comes in. I can't pull the damn thing out. The plastic is so solid that I cant bend it and since I just wanted to stop the car quickly I didn't pay attention to the raid and I've parked on a slight decline so I can't even see well enough it try and find a way to get it out.

So I dug out the jack and set it up to lift up the car. I calmly ask the girls to de-car and I jack up the car, despite the decline and ask the girls to pull out the offending cooler.  This was a great way to include them as now as they tell people about the story, and yes they have told many, many people, the story now ends with them saving us by getting the cooler out.  I guess I was more of a producer/director rather than an actor.  That's ok, I don't need the glory.  What I do need is a drink however.  And yes, I do now consider this particular Monday a busy afternoon.