The reason I'm not impressed is that they love them. For whatever reason, God knows I don't know why, they love them. They have no fear of them. A very healthy respect for them sure, but an all-consuming fear that makes them scream like a little girl at the mere mention of them, no...they do not. Them touching a cobra or laying on croc is much like me scratching a kitten's ears. I love cats and dogs so it's no great shock that I can go right up to them and pet them. But for someone who is terrified of them, well I must seem fearless.
So no, I am not impressed by them bonding with the wild side of Nature Personally I am more impressed with say...me. In the six and half years that I have lived Down Under I have evolved from someone who used to sleep with a can of Raid next to her bed to someone who practically communes with the Great Outdoors. Yes, I am serious. To prove this point please have a look at the following picture.
There she is. Of course I say she but I'm really just guessing. Obviously I'm not getting close enough to check. She's about the size of an American quarter or Australian $.20 piece. The first time I saw her I fell backwards and landed on the edge of my tub almost flying Ass over Tin Cups (see this post for explanation of hilarity of that statement http://kneedeepdownunder.blogspot.com.au/2013/06/repeat-message-as-often-as-needed.html and ended up with a bruised ass for my trouble. As I scrambled to get my glass back on to see what fresh hell was laid out before me I noticed that she had a large insect ensnared and was busily removing its insides. When I stood up and got a bit closer to her she ran like the wind to hide under the handle. It was at that point I decided to try and be a nature lover.
I have been allowing this huge spider to live in my bathroom for almost two months. She lives in the handle of the window that is in my shower. She is huge, scary and every time I see her a small part of me dies inside. I stand as far away from the window as possible and I keep my glasses close by in case I see blurred movement. Yet, I let her live. Why? Because this bad mama eats a TON of bugs every day. I like that. As long as she earns her keep and doesn't openly try to terrify my soul she can stay.
A few days ago winter just up and quit on us bringing the warm weather has been back sooner than. Here in OZ that translates to bugs. All kinds of scary, nasty, leave me sobbing on the floor bugs. Not to say we don't have winter bugs, we do...but the summer ones....dear God the summer ones. Yes, they are coming back. The first wave that came in were the horse flies. Large ones the size of my thumb nail. They are loud, annoying and a general nuisance. It's been a battle to be able to walk around sometimes without them dive-bombing you.
I was trying to get into the shower when one devil fly launched an offensive against me. Luck was with me and I managed to counter attack the snot out of it with my towel. What was lucky about it was that I actually managed to whack it straight in Madams web. Here's Brecky Baby! My gift to you. She seemed appreciative.
FYI Americans - brecky is Aussie for breakfast. No, I don't know why they shorten a two-syllable word down to another two-syllable word. If you ask Aussies they just smile and shake their heads at you. I've learned to find it charming.
Back to Charlotte. We haven't ironed out all the kinks of our unlikely relationship yet. She's a pushy broad and keeps trying to expand her web beyond my comfort zone. Whenever I get into the shower she scurries back under the handle to hide and I take a very long wooden stick I keep close and use it to knock down any territory expansions I haven't authorized. Also I noticed the other day a few very tiny spiders milling about right next to her web. Offspring? Out of town relatives visiting? Possible freeloaders? Don't know and I don't care. One spider. That's it. They got the stick, the shower spray and a rather effusive, "DIE YOU BUGGERS' DIE!!!! shrieked in their general direction. Apparently my neighbors have come to understand and tolerate my voluminous quirkiness because no one called the police. I thank them for that.
As long as Missy Spider is resting her weary head in my bathroom I feel this entitles me to claim membership in the Weird Animals of the World Lovers Club. My contribution to the improving of weird animals lives certainly costs much more than Mr. Monaghan's or the late Mr. Irvins. After all, anyone who actually likes these crazy things probably lets all the bugs live in their homes. It takes something special to encourage a devoted spider-hater like me to let one live. I have to say, I'm feeling pret-ty good about my role in the universe today. Pretty darn good.
