Wednesday, August 7, 2013

If You Have to Ask...

Redundant

As defined by Miriam-Webster: a : exceeding what is necessary or normal : superfluous

b : characterized by or containing an excessspecifically :using more words than necessary
c : characterized by similarity or repetition redundant
 brick buildings


Redundant daily sentences and phrases in my life.

1.   How many times do I have to....
2.   Why?  You mean other than because I flippin' said so?
3.   Why, in the name of all that is holy, do you....
4.   No, you can't have....
5.   Why is there a Diet Coke can in the bathroom cabinet?
6.   How hard is it to....
7.   How could you possibly think that would work?
8.   Why do you ask...what did you do?
9.   Do you have any notes for me?
10.  Why didn't you hand this note to me yesterday?
11.  Of course not, what...are you new?
12.  Who wrote "Only Donuts" on the menu planner?
13.  Do you really need me to settle this argument?

Redundant daily responses that are in my life.

1.   I would have thought the laws of Physics would have stopped that....
2.   Yes, I'm his mother.  He's sorry and if he isn't, I promise he soon will be.
3.   I don't know, wherever you last put them.
4.   Don't eat that!  It's beyond the 3 second rule.
5.   Stop talking, eat your dinner.
5.   No
6.   Don't let your friends write on your shirt.
7.   Tie your shoes.
8.   Find your jumper in Lost and Found
9.   No
10.  Stop sleeping on your pile of clean clothes.
11.  Change out of your clothes at least every 24 hours.
12.  Yes, as soon as I'm dead.
13.  Look with your eyes, not your hands.

This is why mothers get the bad rap of being uneducated or uninteresting.  We have about 25 or so sentences that come out of our mouths every.  single.  day.  These phrases can be repeated in upwards of five or six times every.  single.  day.  

Who can possibly sound charming, witty or alluring when vomiting this same chorus all the time?  
Not me.  Not anyone I know.

Hell, I just bored myself typing this drivel.  It's not motherhood's fault though.  As any good educator and Dora the Explorer will tell you, repetition is the cornerstone of education. Tiny little minds need to hear things over and over before it sinks in.  We are solidifying the foundation upon which our personal minions are building their lives.  

Unless of course then they are emotionally invested in the topic.  When that happens they cotton on miraculously quick and turn into savants of understanding.

Whisper these phrases and see what happens.

1.  Ice cream, who wants ice cream?
2.  Santa was here.
3.  Crud, I made too many cupcakes.
4.  I have a gift card to Target.
5.  Skylanders, I have new Skylanders.
6.  Anyone lose $20?
7.  You're right, it is all her/his fault.  I will go punish her/him now.  Wanna watch?


Whisper those phrases ONCE while flying around in a tornado, and my kids will catapult themselves out of their respective shelters; each trying to knock the other out of the way to get to the winnings.

Clearly I need to rethink the type of redundant phrases used around here.