When my son was first born I had ideas in my mind of what I wanted to teach him. What I wanted him to know about life and how I hoped he would act. That's nothing special all parents do that; except the silly parents who can't seem to tell the difference between their child and their pocket pet.
Part of the charm of my parenting style is that I combine different philosophies to explain what I do and think. I think its part of my personality to have seemingly opposing thoughts running around at the same time. So I must either enjoy a challenge or the voices in my head are right and I am schizophrenic. I'm really ok with the latter being true. At least that way I can have conversations with people who really understand me. Plus I don't have to buy them birthday presents.
I classify my thoughts as a combination of traditional and fru fru granola muncher looney land.
Traditional:
1. Respect for Elders. We are not friends or equals. At all.
2. Education is the answer to many, many problems.
3. You kill for family.
4. We eat dinner together just about every night of the week.
5. Don't care about fair, just what makes things run smoothly
Fru-Fru Looney Land:
1. Question authority. Do not blindly accept that the government is your friend.
2. Pretty soon I will gladly buy condoms/birth control rather than diapers.
3. If one kid gets hit I make him/her hit the offender. Then ask how offender liked it. Doesn't have to be my kid either.
4. My husband and I are heads of the house together. Neither one of us is above the other.
These are just a few of the ideas or actions that describe my values. Nothing too outrageous or too conservative. I think I'm middle of the road. Well, I think so anyway. I'm sure some of my more conservative friends think of me as running a commune but you can't please everyone.
Of course this is all going out the window because today Teddy is getting his first Facebook account today. I seem to be flying in the face of everything I believe in.
Sigh...I really don't want him to have such access to the real world. There are too many yucky people out there.
Yes, yes, I do understand hypocrisy of what I'm writing. Didn't you see item #5 in Traditional? Hel-lo? That was screaming I'M A HYPOCRITE AND I DON'T CARE!!!!
I do want him to be involved with the ever-changing tech world. Yes, he already has online computer gaming, a smart phone and the fun apps that go with that. But Facebook....oooh that's really reaching out and touching someone.
I spent a good 25 minutes setting up his account. I set all the privacy settings to "Go Away or I'll Cut You" and did my best to dig a virtual moat around his page. Worst of all for him, he has to be friends with his parents, his grandmother and his aunt. I know everyone who knows me thinks I'm doing that so we can all jack with him, but that's not true. I'm doing it because so many people do not understand what they should not post. Or just understand that if you write it online it's there forever. I'm an adult and I can and do take responsibility for what I say. I have made and lost friends over my online comments. I accept that. I don't want him to say something or put a picture of something online that someday he will have to explain in a job interview. So right now all his postings will be vetted by family.
If you can't say it in front of Grandma who loves you and sends you money then don't type it.
Sounds like a good mantra to me. I have the settings all up and will sit down with him tonight and explain how to work it all. I will stop myself from posting on his page and warning all his friends not to say nasty stuff to him. I WILL check every few days and make sure he hasn't changed his password. The first time he does change it I will make life uncomfortable for him. The good news is that he already knows first hand that I can do that.
