My in-laws left this morning and here is a list of reasons why I'm happy they are gone.
1. I get to sleep in my bed again. I've been sleeping on a couch of sections pushed in to create a bed for a month. I sleep like a Whirling Dervish so the sections move apart during the night with each of my spins. In the morning I usually awake with my body stretched out like the doll-display of the girl sawed-in-half magic trick. This made more difficult by the both the dog and cat fighting over who gets to lay on the sections under my feet. Not good.
2. I get the tv back. When you fight for dominance in a house consumed by iCarly, Adventure Time and Total Drama Island it's hard to also compete with Bargain Hunt and Antiques Roadshow. Especially when my selections are True Blood, QI and Falling Skies. I like swearing in my tv, I'm a bad person, sue me.
3. Speaking of swearing, I do that, a lot. Now my in-laws were raised far better than I was so they don't swear. But since I do respect them I try not to use the truly blue language in front of them. Now I've been covering up my language for years. Back in the US I would use British curses when I didn't want people to understand me. Nothing like a good, Bugger, Bloody, Roger or Bollocks to vent some steam. Since most of my friends in Texas didn't grow up watching Monty Python I was usually free to swear quite aggregiously and not get caught. However, that plan went to Hell when I moved to Australia. Founded by Brits, they not only understand my standby safe-words, I've been taught some rather creative new ones. But the Aussies comprehending my go-to words does create a need for new obscenities. So recently I've been using some German ones. Not really in my comfort zone but hey, go with what you got. But my in-laws lived in Germany for 9 damn years so they understand every Scheisse that comes of my mouth. I'd find myself in the middle of child stupid stunt induced rage cursing my head off and then quickly apologizing for my language, thus diminishing the power of my vent over the initial offense. No shock that I've had to up my blood pressure meds.
4. That's it. There is no 4. I have 3 things that bring a small sense of joy when having my in-laws return to the US.
See I like my in-laws. And when I say like, I mean love. Never have I encountered such a limitless display of love, affection and tolerance. My two girls sit on either side of my mother-in-law, fighting over the privilege of flanking her and Mom smiles and is genuinely pleased to be the object of the fight. Teddy sits and displays his normal, "I'm cooler than anyone at this table and I've got the sarcastic jabs to prove it" and Dad cracks jokes about how he's just like Ted, giving me time to unclench my fingers around Teddy's throat. I get overwhelmed with 3 different tasks I have to complete in 3 different locations after school and Mom assures me that a store bought cooked chicken is the best dinner possible.
When learning of my horriffic dealings with powers-that-be in this silly parking sign struggle at school do my in-laws council me to turn the other cheek, think about other's feelings or suggest I back off? No, I heard them both giggling how my opposition didt know what was going to hit them. If that isn't an ego boost, I don't know what one is. Two weeks ago I begged for help with Connor while I had Tessi in a SLT session. Mom took her out for the afternoon for special time with Grandma. Then she decided that wasn't fair and made arrangements to take the other two kids out on two separate days so they could have special time.
They willingly sat though two hours of the kids' school concert when their grandchildren were on stage less than 15 minutes. That's 105 minutes of kids they don't know and will never see again..singing about lions, secret agents and Grease. Bloody saints, they are. They let themselves be housebound for four days with three kids just so Ted and I could escape to the Hunter Valley for a badly needed break.
I wouldn't do that for anyone in the world on a bet.
So no, I'm not happy they left. I'll sleep on the couch, watch tv on my iPad with ear buds and learn to swear in Gaelic, but I'm sad they went home. Ted and Mary Tencza, you are the best. Thank you for your son, your grandchildren and for our presence in our lives. I love you.
