Posting #112

I can't title the posting what I would like to because my father and mother and father-in-law read this and I can't have them know I use that kind of language.

Connor is in rare form today and for once it's not going after me.  Sadly, she's going after Teddy.  I have to say, I really feel bad for Teddy but he is really taking one for the team today.  Today is the first day of school holidays and Connor is overwhelmed by the change of leaving Kindergarden, not being in school, having Christmas coming, knowing she's going into Year One and it's tearing her off her rocker.  Every time Teddy  brushes past her she falls apart in hysterics sobbing about how he's done it on purpose and how he's always hitting and hurting her.

It's all nonsense.  Teddy has never teed off and hit her and I give him full credit for it because she really has earned it today.  Connor has to learn the difference between small infractions and large, huge problems.  To her, they are all they same.  I had a psychologist tell me just yesterday how lucky we are to know this about Connor now - so we have time to teach her all of this before it gets rough.  I shudder when I think that because NOW is pretty rough.  Her sobbing and hysteria is so draining.

I just had a long talk with Teddy to calm him down as he's finally cracked and crying.  He's 9 and he can't figure out why his sister hates him  so much...and then loves him so much.  I said, "I'm an adult and I know why...and it still hurts.  There's no way in this world you should understand.  The truth is Teddy, Autism, no matter how severe or mild, simply sucks"

If you know someone with an Autistic person in your life, please, don't tell them it'll get better...just hold their hand and tell them it's ok to be tired and they are not a bad person for wishing things were different.  Sometimes even 5 minutes of knowing you're not a bad person can make all the difference in the world.

Now I get to go and spend some time with Connor...who has already forgotten what happened...and try to teach her how she's supposed to act and try to get her brother to still try and love her.  He does, he just doesn't know it right now.